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By Payh Staff

[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]Is it too late? Is my child in trouble? How do I get to the bottom of what’s going on with my child? I have made mistakes as a parent, what do I do now?

Have you ever had questions like this run through your head? You are not alone.

Far to often knowing whether or not your child is in trouble or is in risk of getting in trouble is often like trying to navigate the depths of an iceberg. We get so caught up in trying to correct the surface issues which often present themselves as behavioral challenges, that we loose sight of what is going on beneath. It is only when we can stop, dig deep, and get to the heart of the problem that we will ever see true and lasting change occur.

But, how do you get there? Let us show you…in this brief video, Glenda Anderson shares her thoughts on indicators that your child may be in danger of heading down the wrong path and what you can do to help guide your child trough this time.;[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][dt_default_button link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fwww.payh.org%2Fis-my-child-in-trouble%2F||target:%20_blank|” size=”big”]PAYH.ORG[/dt_default_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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By Payh Staff

[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]“A sound tree cannot bear evil fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.” MATTHEW 7:18-19

When Jesus came to a tree that was withering, it was obvious by its fruit. He did not mince words. Parents need to know the warning signs and they be able to tell by their child’s behavior if he/she is headed for trouble. Below are what I believe to be the six greatest indicators that your child is headed for trouble:

1. Disrespect showing little regard for your rules or your feelings
2. Disobedience stretching the rules, or challenging them
3. Mouthiness or talking back
4. Association with questionable friends
5. Disregard for coming in on time or heeding curfews
6. Love for music with lyrics that feed rebellion

These behaviors should be totally unacceptable. If a child is allowed to get away with them, his/her behavior will digress. If he/she shows no respect for your authority as his/her parent, he/she will show no regard for any form of authority in school, the workplace, and/or society, much less God. The only way a child can avoid this is if we as parents take our responsibilities seriously and drive the foolish behavior out of him/her. We must watch our children and be diligent stewards of them.

If you are seeing these warning signs in your child, take action today! It is never too late![/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][dt_default_button link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fwww.payh.org%2Fwarning-signs%2F||target:%20_blank|” size=”big”]PAYH.ORG[/dt_default_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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By Payh Staff

[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]How easy is it for teens to get drugs? It’s a lot easier than parents think. For a number of years now, teens have been reporting that it is easier to get a bunch of prescription pills than to get alcohol. With the emergence of new synthetic drugs like Spice, K2 and others, at places as accessible as convenience stores or online, the trend is not going to slow down. Recently in the news, law enforcement officials in Florida teamed up with the Drug Enforcement Administration to put an end to these artificial drugs (here is a link to the article).

HOW EASY IS IT FOR TEENS TO GET DRUGS?

As with all things, when there is a demand for something, supply will meet that demand. For youth, who see high risk behaviors as merely new forms of entertainment, getting drugs becomes easier as the market and supply of drugs grows. From bath salts, to artificial drugs, to prescription pills in the medicine cabinet, the problem is epidemic. Teenagers will tell you that it is easy to get drugs because they are everywhere. So where are they? It’s not solely with some “drug dealer” on the street corner. They can be found:

• In the medicine cabinet at home
• At a neighbors house
• Online
• A friend of a friend
• At schools
• At parties

Years ago, when drugs were not as prevalent, the access was far more limited. But in this current culture, drugs are increasingly the norm and this makes it easy for teens to get drugs. From smoking marijuana to experimenting with pills and trying ecstasy, the consequences of this form of entertainment is highly addictive. This means as parents, the message of drugs don’t work, is not working! If drugs have become easier to obtain and are part of the culture, then the warnings of what drugs can to do you have been ignored.

Years ago, when drugs were not as prevalent, the access was far more limited. But in this current culture, drugs are increasingly the norm and this makes it easy for teens to get drugs. From smoking marijuana to experimenting with pills and trying ecstasy, the consequences of this form of entertainment is highly addictive. This means as parents, the message of drugs don’t work, is not working! If drugs have become easier to obtain and are part of the culture, then the warnings of what drugs can to do you have been ignored.

If you are concerned that your son or daughter has made some bad choices, do not be afraid of any past mistakes you may have made to deal with what is going on. Some common warning signs that your child may be using drugs are:

• Mood swings
• Violations of curfew and other family rules
• Rigid negative attitude, argumentative, highly defensive
• Change in eating habits and sleep patterns
• Decline in attendance or performance at school
• Losing interest in school, sports or other activities that used to be important
• Uncharacteristic withdrawal from family and positive friends
• Heightened secrecy about new friends, whereabouts or possessions
• Missing money, jewelry and valuables from the house

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By Payh Staff

[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]Pornography has been around for awhile. The ancient Greeks and Romans created public sculptures that depicted sex acts you cannot see in R-rated movies still today. Shortly after photography was invented in 1826, photos of nude women surfaced. From magazines to DVD’S to the the Internet, pornography is available everywhere.

As youth are increasingly exposed at earlier and earlier ages, (the national average for boys is 11), the obvious implication is that access is easier. When there is a demand, supply will always meet that demand. Technological devices merely facilitate the reality that we are sexual beings.

While the mobile pornography market surfaced in the last decade, most do not know that mobile consumption is largely credited in 2009 for saving much of the pornography industry. With youth today accessing the Internet from their phones, PlayStation’s or X-Boxes, tablets, or even a handheld PSP, entry into the world of porn is certainly easier than in the days of my youth where access to pornography was largely restricted to magazines or movie theaters.

One of the trends we have been tracking here amongst youth at the Paul Anderson Youth Home is where they first access pornography. 66% of our current young men have first viewed pornography via the Internet at ages as early as 8. While the earliness of the age is staggering, it however is largely a foregone conclusion that their first point of access will be the Internet. But the next level that we are seeking to discover now is what is the first device they use. Is it a computer, a phone, tablet, or a gaming device like an X-Box. Two recent articles certainly support what we expect to see; that it will become far more prevalent for youth to first see porn over their phone via an application, the Internet, or even an image that they have received via a text message.

Here are some links to articles from the news which illustrate this point.

Use the links below to read the full article:
Students suspended for viewing porn in class
Sexting rates higher than previously thought[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][dt_default_button link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fwww.payh.org%2Fmobile-pornography%2F||target:%20_blank|” size=”big”]PAYH.ORG[/dt_default_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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By Glenda Anderson Leonard

[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]Glenda shares her thoughts on anger and apathy that we are seeing in today’s youth.[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][dt_default_button link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fwww.payh.org%2Fq-a-with-glenda-apathy%2F||target:%20_blank|” size=”big”]PAYH.ORG[/dt_default_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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By Glenda Anderson

[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]What do I do if I find aerosol cans under my child’s bed?

Drugs come in all forms today. Even those kids who aren’t using “traditional” drugs such as Marijuana or Ecstasy or Cocaine, are often times experimenting with things like aerosol cans…which are easily found in most homes today. Glenda shares some advise on what you can do if you find aerosol cans in your child’s possession.[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][dt_default_button link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fwww.payh.org%2Fqa-with-glenda-aerosol%2F||target:%20_blank|” size=”big”]PAYH.ORG[/dt_default_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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By Payh Staff

[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]Do I have a child using drugs? It is a question that no parent really wants to entertain. But all parents need to ask the question, because the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (NCAS) states that:

• 97% of high school students say that classmates drink, use drugs, or smoke
• 86% percent (almost 9 out of 10) said that some of their classmates were drinking, smoking and using drugs during school
• 75% of youth over the age of 12 say that pictures of teens drinking, smoking or doing drugs on social networking sites encourages them to do the same

With these numbers, shouldn’t all parents ask is my child using drugs? Youth, like adults, are relationship oriented, so most youth are doing things with their friends, not because of them.

What used to be deviant behavior is accepted and endorsed by the current culture, and every parent needs to take stock. Since youth are using drugs at earlier and earlier ages, asking the question is a preventative step that parents have to take.

Research supports that one of the most important reasons why a youth would choose not to do drugs is parental expectations. To make sure that children have clear expectations, parents have to be engaged in their children’s lives. But engagement is still no guarantee. So, here are some signs that your child may be using drugs:

• Losing interest in activities that used to be important to them
• A new set of friends that are vastly different than before
• Unclear about where they are going to be
• Losing their phone or personal items
• Change in eating habits and sleep patterns
• Unusual odors on their clothes
• Mood swings that are outside the norm of adolescence
• Consistent negative attitude, argumentative, or highly defensive
• Missing valuables from the home

No single sign indicates that your child is using drugs. But when you look at many of these in combination, or simply just have a sense that something is going on, then don’t simply ignore it or assume; “not my child!” Why not your child? Youth in today’s culture see drugs as merely a form of entertainment and an escape from boredom. Every child and situation is different but do not use that as a reason to not follow your instincts or warning signs. Pay attention to the signs in your son or daughters life and be aware of what is going on with their friends and the culture around them.[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][dt_default_button link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fwww.payh.org%2Fdo-i-have-a-child-using-drugs%2F||target:%20_blank|” size=”big”]PAYH.ORG[/dt_default_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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EMMA PAYNE, ADVANCEMENT ASSOCIATE, PAUL ANDERSON YOUTH HOME VISIT HERE

Unless you’ve been living under a rock in recent years, you’re probably aware of the rampant prevalence of drugs and alcohol in our culture. Whether you realize it or not, many of your friends, family, and acquaintances struggle with substance abuse and addiction, and the celebration of the casual use and abuse of drugs and alcohol can be found in most of the songs, television shows, social media accounts, and magazine headlines of today’s pop culture. If you doubt this, just turn on your radio; I am confident that it won’t take long to change your mind. In fact, as I write this, four of the top five songs on Billboard Magazine’s Top 100 ranking for this week include references to drugs or alcohol.

You may be thinking, “Surely substance abuse is not that common. I don’t know anyone who uses drugs!” Let’s look at some of the data. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s 2015 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, 27.1 million people aged 12 or older used an illicit drug in the previous 30 days, which corresponds to about 1 in 10 Americans. 22.2 million individuals aged 12 or older reported current marijuana use, and 3.8 million people aged 12 or older reported current misuse of prescription pain relievers. 52.0 million people aged 12 or older were current cigarette smokers, while 30.2 million of these individuals were daily cigarette smokers, including 12.4 million who smoked approximately a pack or more of cigarettes per day. 138.3 million Americans aged 12 or older reported current use of alcohol, including 66.7 million who reported binge alcohol use in the past month and 17.3 million who reported heavy alcohol use in the past month. Approximately 20.8 million people aged 12 or older had a disorder related to their abuse of alcohol or illicit drugs in the past year.

Unfortunately, individuals are using drugs and alcohol at increasingly younger ages. The majority of the young men who come to the Paul Anderson Youth Home are caught in the throes of substance abuse and addiction. Some of them were exposed to drugs and alcohol as early as age 7. Within a month of turning 13, Jonathan, one of our alumni, had his first experience with alcohol and marijuana. It wasn’t long before he began selling pot; doing so allowed him to make money, get high for free, and gain popularity. By his freshman year of college, Jonathan was also selling ecstasy and cocaine. He had grown to personally prefer the easy-to-conceal cocaine, had also used ecstasy and heroin, and had no trouble finding customers amongst his peers at the private, Christian-affiliated college he attended. His world came crumbling down when some of the students’ parents brought their concerns about Jonathan to the school officials and he was ultimately arrested.

As parents, it’s easy for us to think, “I hear you, but my kid would never do something like that.” This is a dangerous assumption. Jonathan was raised in a two-parent household by his loving family who ate dinner together every night and attended church together twice every week. They lived in a nice, safe neighborhood, and Jonathan went to private schools. His circumstances set him up for a successful life, and looking at him, no one would have ever guessed the level of deception, addiction, and darkness that consumed him. We must be wary when we find ourselves saying that our children are the exception. In fact, we should assume at the very least that they might encounter these temptations amongst their classmates at school, teammates at practice, or acquaintances at club. Talk to your kids, ask them questions, listen to their answers, and have honest conversations about drugs and alcohol. Know their friends and always be aware of where they are spending time. Monitor their cell phone and social media use. Stay involved and don’t ignore any red flags you might see or sense. Your children may feel hurt by what they perceive as mistrust, but sweeping any concerns you have under the rug won’t do them any favors.

None of this is meant to scare you, but rather to alert you to the dangers and temptations your children are facing. No adolescent is exempt from peer pressure, and as a parent, knowledge is power. Do you want to hear some good news? Jonathan made a full recovery from his addiction and the life of deception he had so tediously built. He salvaged his broken relationships, graduated college, fell in love, got married, and started a family. The Lord has restored his life, and consequently, he has an amazing testimony to share. As parents, let’s learn from Jonathan’s story. Be aware, be diligent, and remember that God is faithful and merciful when we fall short.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]