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Why are Single Fathers So Important to the Church?

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Why are Single Fathers So Important to the Church?

According to the Pew Research Center, there were approximately 300,000 single father households in 1960; today there are around 2.6 million. Still, this only accounts for 17% of all custodial parents in single parent homes. If we really want to broaden the spectrum, we can make a strong case that a “single father” is any single man who is involved or wants to be involved in his child’s life. Case in point: in our latest YouTube video you may notice none of the dads in the video were ever married and none are the custodial parent. But that doesn’t rule them out as the father, does it? Not at all! Without taking away from the amazing men who are already parenting as a one-man team, this approach greatly expands the mission field and our ability to relate with more dads, whether or not he is the custodial parent.

Research around the globe is consistent: when fathers are involved in the lives of their children (full or part-time), those children perform significantly better overall cognitively, emotionally, socially, and academically than those without involved dads. As we here at A Father’s Walk have said time and time again: If we want to stop the bleeding in this nation when it comes to crime, teen pregnancy and suicide, substance abuse, divorce, and so on…then we MUST get to the dads!

Over the years our small group has seen men who have risen above and beyond as fathers despite overwhelming obstacles: everything from terminal diseases to felonies. Now, they are thriving as parents and spiritual leaders. There is a story of one single dad who joined the group before he even became a father, because he wanted to be prepared when his daughter was born! Today, that dad is just like a sponge, soaking up every bit of information he can on how to grow as a man and as a father. Others have voluntarily checked themselves into rehab to help overcome addictions, continued to support their children’s relationship with their mom (despite her being the one to leave the family), and so on. Simply put, these single dads are doing what is necessary for the overall benefit of their families. Oh, if only ALL dads could rise like some of these men have!

It is with great encouragement that we can recognize and celebrate such men. Jesus tells us in John 15:13 that “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends” (NASB). In a nation that is still experiencing the heartache and devastation of fatherlessness, we can rejoice and praise the Lord for fathers who do lay down their lives for their children’s sake. Single parenthood is still on the rise, but there is hope ahead. Organizations, churches, neighborhoods across the nation (and even the media) are really beginning to shine a positive light on fatherhood. The Fatherhood CoMission (which includes A Father’s Walk) has a new campaign entitled Honor Your Father. Their website has plenty of tremendous resources to assist all of us to honor our own dads, honor fatherhood, and to grow as fathers ourselves.

The Bible tells us in Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (NASB). God has put a very specific admonishment on dads as the spiritual leaders of their families. Single fathers are no exception to this and our children need this sort of godly influence like never before. Today, we encourage you to celebrate the men who are answering the Lord’s call to raise their children in Christ no matter what type of situation they may be in. Even if that isn’t immediately evident in the life of a single dad you may know, now is a great opportunity to introduce the saving grace of Jesus into his life. Remember, look for the potential, not the flaws. When we begin to view single fathers as the priceless investments that they are, we catch another glimpse of how God works through the most difficult of circumstances to fulfill some of his greatest testimonies.

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5 Signs of Emotionally Unavailable Men

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By STACEY LAURA LLOYD

Originally published in liveabout.com[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]Since happy and healthy relationships are based on openness, honesty, mutual respect, and trust, it can be hard to understand and deal with emotionally unavailable men. If you’re worried that your man might fall into this particular category, these five key signs can help you learn if he’s someone who’s truly emotionally unavailable.

1. He Doesn’t Open Up to You

One of the most common signs is that he doesn’t reveal or show his actual feelings around you.

And while you may want him to open up and be able to express his emotions, he never lets down his guard around you to say what’s really on his mind. For example, rather than confiding in you and talking about a bad day at the office or a disappointing night out with friends, he chooses to keep his feelings bottled up inside and not express to you what’s he’s actually thinking. And if your man is this complicated and hard to read, it’s actually not hard to see that he’s emotionally unavailable and detached.

2. He’s Not Comfortable With Your Emotions

An emotionally unavailable man is also not receptive or supportive when you express your feelings to him. For example, if your man becomes uncomfortable, put off, frustrated, or withdrawn when you choose to open up and be vulnerable around him, this is an indicator that he’s not good at handling emotions—both his as well as yours. In a deep, meaningful, and long-lasting relationship, you and your partner should lend an ear, a shoulder to cry on, and a helping hand, but if your man isn’t willing or able to be there for you when you need him the most, this is a sign that you’re with a guy who’s emotionally unavailable.

3. His Past Remains a Mystery to You

In addition, this type of man is also hardly ever open, honest, and forthright with you about the happenings in his past. And while he certainly doesn’t need to divulge every single detail about his relationship history and life story, it’s important to keep in mind that having a strong relationship means that you and your partner openly share with one another and get to know each other on a deeper level.

However, if he chooses to keep you completely in the dark about key details of his past, this can be a sign that he’s emotionally cut off since he’s refusing to let you know more about his life. When a man chooses to be a closed book, the writing is on the wall that he’s emotionally unavailable to you.

4. He Often Resorts to Sarcasm

Have you noticed that he brushes everything off with a joke or sarcastic comment? Rather than expressing anger, fear, sadness, or disappointment, an emotionally unavailable man turns things into a joke in order to avoid dealing with raw emotions and to remain strong and unfazed in your eyes. For instance, even if your man is upset and hurt that he was passed over for a promotion, he’ll somehow turn it into a joke and laugh it off in front of you so as to not actually have to process, deal with, and talk about what he’s really feeling inside. When he uses sarcasm as a defense mechanism and resorts to laughter over honesty, it’s clear that he’s cutting himself off emotionally from you.

5. He’s Slow to Commit to You

An emotionally unavailable man is typically not willing or able to truly commit to you and be loyal to you. This type of man will often want to keep things casual and undefined so as to not deal with any of the emotional components that go into a long-term relationship.

Men who are emotionally unavailable will often jump from fling to fling because they don’t have to fully invest more than what they’re willing to or comfortable doing. If you’d like to take your relationship with a man to the next level but he wants to remain unattached, friends with benefits, or keep his options open, this can be a clear sign that he’s emotionally unavailable.

6. He Chooses Physical Intimacy Over Emotional Intimacy

It’s also quite common for this type of man to want to be physical with you before an emotional connection has been established. Emotionally unavailable men often choose physical intimacy over emotional intimacy so as to not have to deal with the messiness, seriousness, or complications that emotions can bring into a relationship. If he tends to transition into being physical with you amidst potentially deep, emotional, and personal conversations, it’s clear that he’s the kind of guy who’s emotionally detached.[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][dt_default_button link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fwww.liveabout.com%2Fsigns-of-emotionally-unavailable-men-4173626||target:%20_blank|” size=”big”]LIVEABOUT.COM[/dt_default_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Are children sensitive to parental depression?

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By Dr. James C. Dobson

[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]According to Dr. Norman S. Brandes, a child psychiatrist, children are very sensitive to depression in the adults around them. They often become depressed themselves, even though adults think they’ve hidden their despair. Furthermore, you are watched carefully by your children, who are “learning” how you deal with frustration. You are effectively teaching them, through your own depression, to react similarly in the future.

If your depression is chronic, as you indicate, I would suggest that you seek professional advice. Begin with your physician, who may recognize a physical cause for your constant discouragement. If not, he or she may refer you for psychological assistance. This does not mean you are mentally ill or neurotic. It may indicate nothing more than that you need to examine the things that are bothering you with the help of a competent counselor.[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][dt_default_button link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fdrjamescdobson.org%2F||target:%20_blank|” size=”big”]DRJAMESCDOBSON.ORG[/dt_default_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Is divorce destructive to children?

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By Dr. James C. Dobson

[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]Answer: Children are amazingly resilient, and they do manage to “bounce back” from some severe traumas and crises. Much depends, of course, on how much conflict they witness and how wisely the parent in custody is able to handle the problems. Generally speaking, however divorce is extremely difficult for the children involved. The comedian Jonathan Winters verified this fact when he appeared as the guest on a television interview program. The host asked Mr. Winters to describe his early childhood, and he became unusually serious as he spoke. He described the disintegration of his family when Jonathan was seven years old, and how deeply he was hurt by the divorce. He said the other children would tease and laugh at him because he didn’t have a father and he reacted with anger. He would fight his tormentors and shake his fist in their faces, but when they were not looking he would go off behind a tree or building and cry. Mr. Winters indicated that he later learned to laugh his way out of trouble, but admitted that all of his adult humor is a response to sorrow.

Children of broken homes usually learn to cope with their situation, one way or another, but emotional impact will never be completely forgotten.[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][dt_default_button link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fdrjamescdobson.org%2F||target:%20_blank|” size=”big”]DRJAMESCDOBSON.ORG[/dt_default_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]

What do children dislike about themselves?

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By Dr. James C. Dobson

[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]For a book by E. A. Douvan, Adolescent Girls, nearly two thousand girls from eleven to eighteen years of age were asked, “What would you most like to change about yourself if you could . . . your looks, your personality, or your life!” Fifty-nine percent mentioned some aspect of their physical appearance. Only 4 percent desired greater ability. The most common personal dissatisfaction for both boys and girls concerns facial defects, primarily skin problems. In a later study by H. V. Cobb, children in grades four and older were asked to complete the sentence, “I wish I were . . .” The majority of the boys answered “taller” and the girls answered “smaller.” Certainly there is a great volume of scientific evidence to document children’s preoccupation and dissatisfaction with their own physical characteristics.

My child is often ridiculed and hurt by the other children on our block, and I don’t know how to handle the situation. He gets very depressed and comes home crying frequently. How should I respond when this happens?

When your child has been rejected in this manner, he is badly in need of a friend — and you are elected. Let him talk. Don’t try to tell him that it doesn’t hurt or that it’s silly to be so sensitive. Ask him if he knows what it is that his “friends” don’t like. He may be causing their reaction by dominance, selfishness, or dishonesty. Be understanding and sympathetic without weeping in mutual despair. As soon as appropriate, involve yourself with him in a game or some other activity he will enjoy. Finally, set about resolving the underlying cause.

I would suggest that you ask your child to invite one of his school friends to go to the zoo on Saturday, or offer some other attractive “bait.” They might spend the night at your house. Genuine friendship often grows from such beginnings. Even the hostile children on the block may be more kind when only one of them is invited at a time. Not only can you help your child make friends in this way, but you can observe the social mistakes he is making to drive them away. The information you gain can later be used to help him improve his relationships with others.

My ten-year-old daughter hates to have her hair braided in pigtails because her friends don’t wear theirs that way. I have always loved pigtails, ever since I was a little girl. Am I wrong to make her please me by wearing her hair the way I want it?

Yes, particularly if it makes your daughter feel unnecessarily different and foolish with her friends. Social pressure on the nonconformist is severe, and you should not place your daughter in this uncomfortable position. Closeness between generations comes from the child’s knowledge that parents understand and appreciate feelings. Your inflexibility on this point reveals a lack of empathy and may bring later resentment.[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][dt_default_button link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fdrjamescdobson.org%2F||target:%20_blank|” size=”big”]DRJAMESCDOBSON.ORG[/dt_default_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]

It’s MY choice !!!

By: Rex A. Lones

I have struggled many years with making the right choice. Isn’t that what life is about? They say that we make in excess of 10,000 choices every day. Our brain begins this exercise the moment it awakens every morning. Our first thought is usually “What time is it ?” or “Do I want (or need) to get up?” Then the process begins. Which foot hits the floor first, do I need to go to the bathroom, am I hungry? Many of these “choices” are just standard responses of our conscious brain beginning its daily routine. Those are easy!

What about the more complicated decision’s we are forced to make? The one’s that require thought, reasoning and are filtered through our sense of right and wrong? What is a good choice anyway? Good choices are decisions that keep you heading in the right direction. Bad choices, on the other hand, end up being counterproductive and can quickly begin spiralling into stress, confusion, and despair. Some of the trickiness of choice-making arises with options that may be pleasing in the short-term but may prove to be hazardous in the long run.

The most fundamental consideration with choice-making is to ensure the choices we make are congruent with the personal values and important goals we have established for ourselves. If we have the goal of having a successful career and healthy family life, then making decisions to party excessively with late nights of drugs and alcohol (temporal gratification), will likely lead to later discontent and misery regardless of how “good” it feels now. By taking a moment to consider the possible outcomes of any decision, we could save ourselves a lot of heartache.

Most of us want to believe that we are pretty good at making responsible choices but many times we come up against a choice that causes us to stop and pause. When this happens, the obvious choice is not necessarily that easy to find. That’s when we have to rely on what we call our conscience to guide us. For the Christian, our conscience is that part of us that walks hand in hand with God’s spirit. In fact, it is God’s Spirit Himself that guides us when we seek His counsel. “Walk according to the Spirit and you will not fulfill the desires of the flesh” Galatians 5:16. Most of the decisions we make have really nothing to do with our eternal life BUT our eternal life SHOULD influence our decisions. Once we make the decision to follow Jesus Christ, every decision we make thereafter should be filtered through what it is that God desires for us. That would be HIS will !

I am going to open a can of worms here. Many “conservative” Christians believe that God has a very specific answer to every choice we are faced with, What job to take, whom should we marry or how many children we should have. The answers would look like this; “Work at Cracker Barrel , marry Susie Johnson and have twelve kids.” Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way. It’s YOUR choice !!! Some would argue that God even gave Lucifer the ability to choose. If not, then how was it possible for him to rebel against God’s authority? Was he not a created being as well? Our heavenly Father gives US the opportunity to choose for ourselves because that’s the only way we can grow, learn, and become more like Him. The test then becomes whether we will choose by filtering our choices through the very clear commandments He has given us. Litmus test? Oh yeah !

I do believe in one VERY important principle. It comes from Colossians 3:23,24. It says, “WHATEVER YOU DO, work at it with ALL your heart, as working for the Lord, NOT for human masters since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Even wise King Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes 9:10 that, “WHATEVER YOUR HAND finds to do, do it with all your might”. Solomon understood the futility of life without God ! THIS tells me that God gives us the freedom to make our own decisions as long as loving and honoring Him is the result.

Are there correct choices that we are commanded to make? Of course there are. Here are the “Big two”. 1-“Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind” 2-“Love thy neighbor as thyself” (Mark 12:30,31) These are VERY CLEAR commands ! Simple obedience is the only proper response to these commands.

Okay then, if God does not give “very specific” answers to the questions we have in regards to the decisions we are faced with, outside these clear commands, how do we know what to do ? We APPLY BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES ! Let me highlight just two.

The DOUBT principle and The ASSOCIATION principle.

The doubt principle says that if you are unsure as to whether a choice to do something is right or wrong, DON’T DO IT ! According to Romans 14:21 and 23, we should not engage in an activity if we are unsure as to whether it is appropriate. In fact, the Bible goes as far as to say that engaging in an activity when you are not convinced it is the right thing to do, is SIN ! (vs. 23- “But whoever doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is NOT from faith, and EVERYTHING THAT DOES NOT COME FROM FAITH IS SIN.”

The association principle says that we should not associate ourselves with that which is (or may be) inappropriate. In 1 Thessalonians 5:22 we are told to abstain from activities that have even the APPEARANCE of evil ! When people see you doing something, will they immediately think you are involved in something inappropriate for a Christian? Will it bring reproach on the name of the Lord? If so, DON’T DO IT !!!

*Let me make an honest confession here. I have violated both these principles on numerous occasions! I am learning ! I am growing ! Thank God for His Amazing Grace AND His Mercy !!!

Sometimes we don’t make good choices because of FEAR. Sometimes we are afraid of how God will lead us ! Step out of being led by His Spirit for even a moment and you can make a life altering choice. Our “flesh” will ALWAYS get us in trouble like that! God wants to bless us but blessings from the Lord only come through OBEDIENCE ! This is why it is so important to stay in God’s word. Let me say this for those who do not agree with my assessment. SOMETIMES God DOES speak directly to our hearts and DOES show us the right choice IMMEDIATELY! The fact that many (if not most) of us are even breathing at this very moment is due to God’s immediate and direct intervention! Has He ever saved your life? He has mine !!! (Thank you Jesus !!!)

Usually the choices we make are a result of what our hearts desire most. The Word addresses that this way. “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him and He will do this.” Psalm 37:4,5 Here is how I understand those verses. He will give you the desire of your heart WHEN you desire what He knows is best! If I could go back and tell a much younger Rex that he should not do a certain thing because older Rex KNOWS what the outcome will be, I would do it because I love Rex and want only good for him. God works like this because He knows the end from the beginning and HE LOVES ME !!! I believe that if I desire what He wants me to have then I will receive what I desire. This does NOT violate my gift of free will, it only redirects it ! Verse 5 tells us that if we “commit our desires to Him”, He will bring it to pass! It really boils down to trusting God with everything !

I choose to spend time in God’s word and get to know “His heart” and “His desires” for me.

THAT “Is MY choice!”

A letter to the Father

rexs4 (2) By Rex A Lones

“Father, as I lay here in this borrowed tomb waiting for the next step on my journey, I need to share some things with you. These last few years have created for me many fond memories and wonderful experiences. I just finished my walk down the Via Dolorosa and they have crucified me. I just pray Father that they understand that the “living” way to You will include pain and suffering for them as well. I pray that they embrace it and let it have it’s perfect work in each of them.

I remember when I was a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes laying in a wooden box. My mother wrapped me in narrow bands of cloth to restrain me and to keep me comfortable and quiet. Today Father, these swaddling cloths that I wear only serve as a reminder of the cruelty of mans heart. I find no comfort in their embrace. There is such a difference between the warmth of my mothers arms and the cold of this unyielding tomb.

Father, I knew as a child that I was different from the rest. I learned so much after leaving Egypt. I even learned that one day I would have to die. I used to wander if angels would come to me, if they would sing to me, if they would fill my dreams. Yes I learned much but there were still many things that I did not know. Inside though, I did not really believe that I was only here to hear angels sing.

Father, even though I had the ability to make it rainy or sunny or to even make dead birds fly, I knew I was here just to be alive. To see it all, to hear it, to feel it, ALL of it, even if it hurt. I knew that some day you would show me the fullness of my journey but it would happen in Your time. I knew it Father because I am your child and I trust you. I love You.

I remember the day my mother told me that YOU were my father. I told her that we all are Your children. She explained to me that day that I was “begotten” of God and that it was You that brought me into existence. She said that is why I could do things that others could not. She told me that was why I could make the sick well and the blind see. She warned me that day that I should hold this power within me until You told me to use it. She told me that You made me a child so that I could grow in wisdom. My mother was so wise.

Father, I learned the scriptures as a child but I knew inside that they spoke of me. Maybe that is why learning them came so easily. At the Passover feast when I was twelve, sitting with the scribes and elders came so naturally to me. They were amazed at my understanding of Your holy word. I think that some of them actually envied me. I do not count that as gain to me though Father, the words were yours.

When Joseph and my mother came looking for me that day in the temple, they seemed so afraid for me. I told them that I had to be about my Fathers business and that I was not afraid. It is written that perfect love casts aside all fear and Father, I do love You so!

Father, I also remember working with Joseph in his workshop. He was such a good man I believe that You could not have given me a better earthly father. I am so grateful for him. He was kind, caring and ever so faithful to my mother. I learned much from him Father. He taught me much about honesty, character and a good work ethic. As he built things with his hands, he taught me how to stick to a job until it was finished. Just as You, Father, he would not let me quit until the task was done.

Father, I also want to thank you for my Uncle Cleophas today. He was such an encouragement to me. Even when others seemed blind to my calling, he knew. He always told me that I was born to do great things. I smile as I remember the days when he would lift me up out of the river and toss me high into the air. I had so much fun with my Uncle. As I reflect on just how blessed I was to have men like Joseph and Cleophus in my life, I cannot help but hurt for all the children who do not know the love of a father. There are many who do not have a good man in their life as I did. Most importantly Father, I had You!

Father, I so love the children too. They truly are a blessing from You and I do not know why people can not see that? As I think on the children, I so admire the qualities that You have placed within them. Simplicity, trust, dependence, humility, joy, and wonder. They do not clamor for recognition, they just want to be loved. They need affirmation too Father but they are satisfied with a warm embrace and a smile. I so look forward to coming home and feeling the comfort of YOUR embrace.

Father, I so thank You for all those You gave me to walk this journey beside me. I could only choose twelve as my inner circle but there are so many more I wish I could have spent more time with. Oh well, one day I will!

There was the innkeeper on the night of my birth. He did not have room for us that night but his eyes were so full of kindness. It seemed to have grieved him so to have to turn us away but he was able to offer us a stable. That was so nice of him. Then there was the little girl who played with me on the beach in Galilee. She was one of the first to see that there was something special about me. When we found the dead bird floating in the water, she said, “Bring it back to life. I know you can!” How did she know Father?

Then there was my cousin John. The first time we met, he got so excited that he leaped for joy while still in his mothers womb. Isn’t that funny Father? John was so precious to me Father and You used him in such a mighty way. He paved the way for me Father with his message of repentance unto salvation. I don’t know if I could have done it without him. His death grieved me so Father. I am sure going to miss him until the reunion.

Father, then there were those rugged fishermen that You gave me. They truly became my friends. The night I met them I felt such a surge of excitement because I knew you were about to do something spectacular through them. The world did not see their potential Father but YOU DID! They became as clay in Your hands Father and that Peter, he was the biggest character of all. When I leave here though, I know that he is going to do great things for Your Kingdom, even if he does have to learn things the hard way.

I was so proud of Simon, Andrew, James and John that night I came to them on the Galilee. They dropped their nets and followed me just as I asked them too. I am so glad Zebedee had his servants to rely on when his sons walked off that boat. He was an old man and his days were growing short. He needed the support.

Oh, Father, I almost forgot to mention my temptation after John baptized me. I am so glad the Spirit stayed with me during those dreadful days in the wilderness. I sure did get hungry though. Thank you for sending the angels to minister to me at the end. You are such a good Father! I did have to chuckle a bit though over satan’s feeble attempt to manipulate me. His enticements and his lies were no match for your word! He is such a loser !

When I returned to Galilee it so saddened my heart Father to see those I grew up with reject me. If only had they realized the truth. I was so glad to be able to do all those miracles after I left Galilee and went down to Capernaum. The sick, the oppressed, and the possessed all needed a healing touch. I remember the demon possessed man well. Imagine the nerve of that foul spirit commanding ME to “Leave him alone!” The people around were truly amazed when I spoke with power and authority. They could not wait to spread the message!

By the way Father, did I tell you I love you?

I can’t fail to mention John , Father. What a good friend he was! I know it wasn’t pride that caused him to call himself “the disciple that I loved” John loved me with so much passion and so purely that he hated being away from me. That night he layed his head on my chest, I felt more loved than I has ever felt since my mother held me in her arms. I know that you are going to use John one day to do a mighty work. You might even use him to reveal me to the world. Please bless him Father as he is so very precious to me.

Father, I want to mention this one other man who I believe we can use to truly change the world. His name is Saul but I think we should call him Paul. This man has such great potential Father. He was trained at the feet of Gamaliel and has been instructed in all aspects of your law. He needs a new vision though Father so I am thinking about taking away his sight for a couple days. I think that would surely reveal the truth to him

Father. I am going to have to cut this letter short as I have to descend into the earth. preach a sermon. and set some captives free. OH, say hello to Lazarus for me, That boys been through a lot! I just got one more thing Father. When Mary Magdalene discovers that my body is gone, don’t let her trip and hurt herself wen she runs out to tell the others the good news. She is going to be very excited when she realizes I have risen. Please put a couple angels around her to keep her safe

I will see you soon Father, please keep my brothers and sisters safe

I Love you as I have loved you from the foundation of the world

Love you for eternity Father.

Jesus

P/S…..SUNDAYS A COMIN!!!!!!!!

A legacy of passion

By Rex A Lones

I want to start this blog with a couple definitions:

Passion- “An intense desire for, enthusiasm for, or love for something
Legacy- “Something that is handed down or passed on to someone else

As I was walking out the days following my divorce, my life became very confusing. Some days I did not even know which way was up. I made a critical decision at that point in my life which was to focus on my love for my children and not on my own pain. My passion became an intense desire to remain close to my children and do my best to love them and protect them from all harm (real or perceived).

I must confess that there were times that I just wanted to give up. I found myself saying, “This is just too hard Lord, I cannot do this!” Not only did I have to deal with the actions of others but I had to deal with some very self-destructive coping mechanisms of my own. While I never stopped being responsible “FOR” my children, I did at times struggle with my responsibility “TO” my children.

You see, being responsible “FOR” them was all the provisional things like food, clothing and financial support. Though I struggled with this at times, God made a way. Being responsible “TO” them was providing them with clear direction, motivation and an example to follow. Sometimes that is quite difficult to do as a “weekend warrior.” Today I am so grateful that God was walking beside me through that valley or I may have caused tremendous harm to my children. This happens to men every day in our world.

I am hoping that when I reach the end of my mortal journey here on earth, I will be able to look back and see that I have left a legacy of love and passion for my children. As I reflect on what Jesus went through during the week prior to His death, I am AMAZED at the passion He had for us ! Just before His arrest, Jesus took the time to pray for all of His disciples. HE KNEW WHAT WAS COMING! Even though He was about to go through a horrible betrayal from a friend, an unlawful arrest, an unholy verdict, and an agonizing death, His passion for us was unwavering.

“As I read Jesus’ words in John 17:24, my heart is so overwhelmed with His love. His words reveal not only HIS passion for us but His FATHERS passion as well.”

Just as I could never walk away from or abandon my children, Jesus would not abandon His. His LOVE FOR US drove Him on His journey to the Cross to pay our sin debt and redeem us back to the Father. I do not know how you feel about that but for me, it was the GREATEST GIFT I HAVE EVER RECEIVED ! Jesus then sealed the deal by giving us His SPIRIT to empower and comfort us.

“Father, I desire that they also whom you gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me, FOR YOU LOVED ME before the foundation of the world.” WOW, the Father loves the Son, the Son loves His friends and His friends must then love their brothers and sisters. What a way of “handing down” a legacy!

Those of us who operate on the same agenda as Jesus understand His heartbeat. Jesus longs to glorify the Father, sanctify His disciples, and unify His church to reveal the love of the Father to the whole world.

I would call that a LEGACY OF PASSION !!!

Like a child

cropped-unnamed When Jesus Christ lived on the earth He welcomed little children to come to Him and referred to them often in His teachings. In one instance, He reprimanded His disciples for trying to keep parents from bringing them to Him for a blessing. Their hearts were Distant from the true meaning of His message. Jesus used the term “the kingdom of God” on multiple occasions and referred to it in a way which simply put was “the rule of God in our hearts.” It truly meant more and ultimately describes our eternal existence with Him in heaven. It BEGINS with a CHILDLIKE DEPENDENCE on God!

When Jesus said, “the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these,” He was referring to the childlike characteristics that ready us to receive Christ. Those characteristics are;

1-simplicity

2-trust

3-dependence

4-humility

5-joy

6-wonder

These things are far more important than the things which clamor for our affections as adults. As we age we become more cynical selfish and self-absorbed.

Children need and long for something or someone to lean on. Something or someone outside themselves. Childlike wonder and joy, you see, opens our hearts to be more receptive to God who is just waiting for us to run into His arms, the arms of our “Abba,” our daddy! Those who are childlike in their dependence on God are the ones who were welcomed by Jesus.

The “flipside” of this childlike dependence was expressed in the story of the rich young ruler. He wound up sadly leaving because his priority was his “worldly riches.” He had been accustomed to depending on his own skills and abilities and not on the one who gave him those talents. There is a great message in that story for all of us. There is nothing wrong with possessing great wealth but our “portfolio” should include a great amount of STOCK in faith, hope, and love.Simple, childlike trust in Jesus Christ is better than “adultlike” independence and trust in “lesser” things.

As parents, we need to teach our children that there are things more important in life than what we can “get”. We need to show them that it is in the “giving” that we find true joy in life. When we succeed at that we teach them one of the most important lessons in life.We should remember today that we need to put our trust and faith in God,

“Like a child.”

Lets get Stoned!

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As I reflect during this holy week on the triumphant entry of Jesus into the city of Jerusalem, I find a fascinating truth revealed. This truth should reflect the calling of every believer in Jesus Christ.

As Jesus entered the city, a large crowd of disciples were gathered and were laying their garments and palm branches along the path that Jesus traveled. As He entered the city, the people began to cry out, “Hosanna! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!” They were singing out their praises to God.

In opposition to this act of adoration, the religious Pharisees challenged Jesus by stating, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!” You see, the Pharisees were blind to who Jesus really was. This was reflected by the title to which they addressed Him, which was simply “teacher.” The fact is that they were actually challenging Jesus on who He claimed to be, “THE MESSIAH!”

Jesus’ answer to these men reflected a truth that while in one sense was symbolic, it also expressed a great truth that reflects the power of a holy God. Jesus said to them, ” I tell you, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out!” If we look back at Matthew, chapter 3, we see John the Baptist challenging the Pharisees and Sadducees when they questioned John on his practice of baptizing men as an act of ” repentance unto salvation.”

John called these men a “Brood of vipers” and challenged THEM to repent and “bear fruit worthy of repentance.” These men set themselves as more important than those who came to John for baptism because they were the “children of father Abraham.” John’s response was this, ” I say unto you that God is able to raise children up to Abraham from these stones!” In Jewish culture, non-Jews or gentiles, were referred to as “stones.”

While John was in one sense rebuking these men for their pride and misuse of authority, he was also pointing out that God could raise up children unto Himself from Jew or gentile alike. Okay, so what is the application of this truth and how does it apply to us.

Well you see, as it was with the disciples who stood singing praises to God as Jesus entered the city that day, we are called to unashamedly sing our praises to God and daily acknowledge Christ as our Messiah. Regardless of what others do, religious or not, our reasonable service to God is to sing out our praises to Him and acknowledge Him for who He IS.

If we do not do this, “The earth itself will glorify Him and indeed it does!” God will NEVER be denied the glory that ONLY He deserves!!!

As we celebrate Passion week, we need to be reminded that as Christians we should be telling the whole world about the love and passion that God has shown us through His son, Jesus Christ! One thing is for sure, if we fail to speak the truth to a hurt and dying world that God so loved us that He gave His very best to redeem us from the curse of sin, “the stones” will cry out the truth about Him. So I say to you,

Lets all get stoned !!!