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By Dr. Tim Clinton

“Fathers and Sons”[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]

Listen HERE to Dr. Clinton interview Kirk Cameron on his radio program Life, Love and Family With Dr. Tim Clinton.

4 Steps for Transitioning Boys into Men (Cameron & Molitor, 2012):

1. Have a Plan—little ever gets accomplished without a well-devised plan. Think about the qualities you’d like to see in your son as he grows. Write a list of the attributes that you think define successful young men. List the spiritual, emotional, physical, vocational, social, and financial qualities you hope to see in your son. Once you’ve identified these, create a plan to impart these to him.
2. Bless Your Son—a blessing is passed on when a respected elder speaks words of encouragement and affirmation to any young person. Children are constantly bombarded with messages—subtle and otherwise—that they just don’t measure up. God will use your words of blessing to neutralize these negative messages and instill hope to your son.
3. Mentor Your Son—boys must grow up around positive male role models so that they can observe what it means to be a man. Successful mentoring occurs when a close relationship is combined with well-conceived lesson plans. When you know what lessons, skills, and truths you want your son to learn, then you can intentionally look for opportunities to teach those things.
4. Rite of Passage Ceremony—plan a celebration, a marked time, when your son is received and declared a man. From this point forward, your son will be accepted and embraced by you, your family, and friends as a man. Invite other godly men and ask them to pray over your son, write him letters to impart wisdom, and bring symbolic gifts to signify his entry into manhood. Let this be a time to celebrate your son’s life and the man that he is becoming!

The Importance of Fathers:

• Kids with absentee fathers are more likely to drop out of school, be abused, be obese, and lack feelings of security (The Father Factor, 2013).
• Almost 75 percent of children living in fatherless homes will experience poverty and are 10 times as likely to experience extreme poverty (Clinton & Trent, 2009).
• The deterioration of fatherhood in America is considered our most serious social ill. Nearly 40 percent of children fall asleep in homes where their father is not present.
• The National Commission on Children found that nearly half of all children in disrupted families have not seen their fathers at all in the past year.
• Fatherlessness is associated with crime, suicide, teenage pregnancy, drug and alcohol abuse, and incarceration.
• Kids with present fathers perform better academically, achieve greater cognitive development, experience less anxiety, and have stronger feelings of identity.

Quotes:

• “One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.”—George Herbert
• “A male is born, but a man is made.”—Unknown
• “There is no man living that cannot do more than he thinks he can.”—Henry Ford
• “If I’m pointing him to heaven with my words, but leading him to hell with my life I have blown it.”—Kirk Cameron
• “If you don’t know where you are going, the road will take you there.”—Unknown
• “It’s never too late to become a great father.”—Tim Clinton
• “What we do in life echoes in eternity.”—Maximus Decimus Meridius, inGladiator
• “It is never too late to be what you might have been.”—George Eliot
• “Being a father means being a mentor.”—Unknown
• “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”—Edmund Burke
• “Adversity toughens manhood, and the characteristic of the good of the great man is not that he has been exempt from the evils of life, but that he has surmounted them.”—Patrick Henry
• “A real man is one who rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects the greater reward, God’s reward.”—Robert Lewis
• “Give me one hundred men who fear nothing but sin and desire nothing but God, and I care not whether they be clergymen or laymen, they alone will shake the gates of hell and set up the kingdom of heaven upon the earth.”—John Wesley

Key Thoughts:

• There are certain gifts that only fathers can give their children.
• Dad’s often do not give what they did not get from their dads.
• Your responsibility as a father is to train up the next generation. If you do not model how to be a godly man to your kids, you have neglected your greatest responsibility.
• Use the examples of Jesus, Paul, and godly men in history like George Washington—those who have fought the fights and had the right perspective.
• You are to love and lead with affection, tenderness, and commitment.
• Surround yourself with godly men who can be an example.
• Take time to delight in your children, reminding them of critical truths, of who they are, of their identity in Christ. If you children do not know who they are, they will go looking for it in a gang, a girl, a guy—somewhere or with someone who gives them the identity that they are searching for.
• Mentoring, teaching, and training by a trusted adult are vital for successful development. In the absence of positive adult role models, young males will find their own role models or mentors. The absence of positive role models creates a void in a young man, one that is quickly filled by someone much less qualified (Cameron & Molitor, 2012).
• Young boys lacking discernment are often attracted to external (and false) signs of maturity.

Verses:

• “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”—Ephesians 6:4
• “But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.”—James 3:8-10
• “He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of their children to their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse.”—Malachi 4:6
• “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”—Proverbs 27:17
• “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”—Ephesians 4:29
• “Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”—1 Corinthians 16:13-14
• “But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness.”—1 Timothy 6:11
• “When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.”—1 Corinthians 13:11

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By Joyce Meyer

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Bringing Up Your Children with Peace, Patience and Confidence

At one time or another, every mom has felt lacking in her ability as a parent. It begins with caring for your newborn. Am I doing this right? And then continues with toddler tantrums all the way through the teenage years. Am I making the right decisions? Are my kids going to turn out all right? When they make mistakes, will they know that God is on their side? Even when our children are grown-ups, they’ll forever be our children.

There are awesome responsibilities that come with being a parent, and while many men are committed to their families and deeply involved in their children’s lives, mothers tend to be the primary nurturers.

I have met young moms who feel they are not what they should be unless they can juggle marriage, parenting, home-­making, and a career all at the same time.

Sometimes messy and difficult family situations like divorce, alcoholism, abuse, or other problems make it even harder to persevere with a positive, peaceful attitude.

Then there’s the worry that your children may not choose to pursue a personal relationship with God or walk through life with Him.

If you feel like your joy in motherhood is being overshadowed by family challenges or a swirling sense of self-doubt, I want to help you claim the confidence you need to enjoy the journey of motherhood.

I’m not talking about confidence in your own abilities; I am talking about having confidence in God’s ability to help you and guide you each step of the way. He intends for motherhood to be a joyful experience, and I want to help you learn how to lean confidently on Him.

One thing God doesn’t want you to do is worry. Some people think if they aren’t worrying about their children, they’re not good parents. However, the Bible warns us not to worry because it does us no good.

Matthew 6:27 (AMPC) says, And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure (cubit) to his stature or to the span of his life?

Like most parents, Dave and I had some kind of issue with each of our children. And I wasted a lot of time worrying while they were growing up.Two of our children struggled getting through school, one was very messy, and another was an extreme perfectionist and put tremendous pressure on herself. The good news is they all made it and are doing fine.

Some of them took a little detour and made some bad choices, but they learned from them and came full circle back to what they were taught.

God’s Word states that if we train our children in the way they should go, when they are old they will not depart from it (see Proverbs 22:6). If you are concerned about your children, just cling to that promise. Pray for their needs, and then cast your care on God.

Instead of feeling the pressure of worldly expectations, do the best job you can to raise your children according to godly principles and leave the rest up to God.

[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][dt_default_button link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fwww.joycemeyer.org%2Feverydayanswers%2Fea-teachings%2Fhow-to-be-a-confident-mom-part-1||target:%20_blank|” size=”big”]JOYCEMEYER.ORG[/dt_default_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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Why are Single Fathers So Important to the Church?

According to the Pew Research Center, there were approximately 300,000 single father households in 1960; today there are around 2.6 million. Still, this only accounts for 17% of all custodial parents in single parent homes. If we really want to broaden the spectrum, we can make a strong case that a “single father” is any single man who is involved or wants to be involved in his child’s life. Case in point: in our latest YouTube video you may notice none of the dads in the video were ever married and none are the custodial parent. But that doesn’t rule them out as the father, does it? Not at all! Without taking away from the amazing men who are already parenting as a one-man team, this approach greatly expands the mission field and our ability to relate with more dads, whether or not he is the custodial parent.

Research around the globe is consistent: when fathers are involved in the lives of their children (full or part-time), those children perform significantly better overall cognitively, emotionally, socially, and academically than those without involved dads. As we here at A Father’s Walk have said time and time again: If we want to stop the bleeding in this nation when it comes to crime, teen pregnancy and suicide, substance abuse, divorce, and so on…then we MUST get to the dads!

Over the years our small group has seen men who have risen above and beyond as fathers despite overwhelming obstacles: everything from terminal diseases to felonies. Now, they are thriving as parents and spiritual leaders. There is a story of one single dad who joined the group before he even became a father, because he wanted to be prepared when his daughter was born! Today, that dad is just like a sponge, soaking up every bit of information he can on how to grow as a man and as a father. Others have voluntarily checked themselves into rehab to help overcome addictions, continued to support their children’s relationship with their mom (despite her being the one to leave the family), and so on. Simply put, these single dads are doing what is necessary for the overall benefit of their families. Oh, if only ALL dads could rise like some of these men have!

It is with great encouragement that we can recognize and celebrate such men. Jesus tells us in John 15:13 that “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends” (NASB). In a nation that is still experiencing the heartache and devastation of fatherlessness, we can rejoice and praise the Lord for fathers who do lay down their lives for their children’s sake. Single parenthood is still on the rise, but there is hope ahead. Organizations, churches, neighborhoods across the nation (and even the media) are really beginning to shine a positive light on fatherhood. The Fatherhood CoMission (which includes A Father’s Walk) has a new campaign entitled Honor Your Father. Their website has plenty of tremendous resources to assist all of us to honor our own dads, honor fatherhood, and to grow as fathers ourselves.

The Bible tells us in Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (NASB). God has put a very specific admonishment on dads as the spiritual leaders of their families. Single fathers are no exception to this and our children need this sort of godly influence like never before. Today, we encourage you to celebrate the men who are answering the Lord’s call to raise their children in Christ no matter what type of situation they may be in. Even if that isn’t immediately evident in the life of a single dad you may know, now is a great opportunity to introduce the saving grace of Jesus into his life. Remember, look for the potential, not the flaws. When we begin to view single fathers as the priceless investments that they are, we catch another glimpse of how God works through the most difficult of circumstances to fulfill some of his greatest testimonies.

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By STACEY LAURA LLOYD

Originally published in liveabout.com[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]Since happy and healthy relationships are based on openness, honesty, mutual respect, and trust, it can be hard to understand and deal with emotionally unavailable men. If you’re worried that your man might fall into this particular category, these five key signs can help you learn if he’s someone who’s truly emotionally unavailable.

1. He Doesn’t Open Up to You

One of the most common signs is that he doesn’t reveal or show his actual feelings around you.

And while you may want him to open up and be able to express his emotions, he never lets down his guard around you to say what’s really on his mind. For example, rather than confiding in you and talking about a bad day at the office or a disappointing night out with friends, he chooses to keep his feelings bottled up inside and not express to you what’s he’s actually thinking. And if your man is this complicated and hard to read, it’s actually not hard to see that he’s emotionally unavailable and detached.

2. He’s Not Comfortable With Your Emotions

An emotionally unavailable man is also not receptive or supportive when you express your feelings to him. For example, if your man becomes uncomfortable, put off, frustrated, or withdrawn when you choose to open up and be vulnerable around him, this is an indicator that he’s not good at handling emotions—both his as well as yours. In a deep, meaningful, and long-lasting relationship, you and your partner should lend an ear, a shoulder to cry on, and a helping hand, but if your man isn’t willing or able to be there for you when you need him the most, this is a sign that you’re with a guy who’s emotionally unavailable.

3. His Past Remains a Mystery to You

In addition, this type of man is also hardly ever open, honest, and forthright with you about the happenings in his past. And while he certainly doesn’t need to divulge every single detail about his relationship history and life story, it’s important to keep in mind that having a strong relationship means that you and your partner openly share with one another and get to know each other on a deeper level.

However, if he chooses to keep you completely in the dark about key details of his past, this can be a sign that he’s emotionally cut off since he’s refusing to let you know more about his life. When a man chooses to be a closed book, the writing is on the wall that he’s emotionally unavailable to you.

4. He Often Resorts to Sarcasm

Have you noticed that he brushes everything off with a joke or sarcastic comment? Rather than expressing anger, fear, sadness, or disappointment, an emotionally unavailable man turns things into a joke in order to avoid dealing with raw emotions and to remain strong and unfazed in your eyes. For instance, even if your man is upset and hurt that he was passed over for a promotion, he’ll somehow turn it into a joke and laugh it off in front of you so as to not actually have to process, deal with, and talk about what he’s really feeling inside. When he uses sarcasm as a defense mechanism and resorts to laughter over honesty, it’s clear that he’s cutting himself off emotionally from you.

5. He’s Slow to Commit to You

An emotionally unavailable man is typically not willing or able to truly commit to you and be loyal to you. This type of man will often want to keep things casual and undefined so as to not deal with any of the emotional components that go into a long-term relationship.

Men who are emotionally unavailable will often jump from fling to fling because they don’t have to fully invest more than what they’re willing to or comfortable doing. If you’d like to take your relationship with a man to the next level but he wants to remain unattached, friends with benefits, or keep his options open, this can be a clear sign that he’s emotionally unavailable.

6. He Chooses Physical Intimacy Over Emotional Intimacy

It’s also quite common for this type of man to want to be physical with you before an emotional connection has been established. Emotionally unavailable men often choose physical intimacy over emotional intimacy so as to not have to deal with the messiness, seriousness, or complications that emotions can bring into a relationship. If he tends to transition into being physical with you amidst potentially deep, emotional, and personal conversations, it’s clear that he’s the kind of guy who’s emotionally detached.[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][dt_default_button link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fwww.liveabout.com%2Fsigns-of-emotionally-unavailable-men-4173626||target:%20_blank|” size=”big”]LIVEABOUT.COM[/dt_default_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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By Dr. James C. Dobson

[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]For a book by E. A. Douvan, Adolescent Girls, nearly two thousand girls from eleven to eighteen years of age were asked, “What would you most like to change about yourself if you could . . . your looks, your personality, or your life!” Fifty-nine percent mentioned some aspect of their physical appearance. Only 4 percent desired greater ability. The most common personal dissatisfaction for both boys and girls concerns facial defects, primarily skin problems. In a later study by H. V. Cobb, children in grades four and older were asked to complete the sentence, “I wish I were . . .” The majority of the boys answered “taller” and the girls answered “smaller.” Certainly there is a great volume of scientific evidence to document children’s preoccupation and dissatisfaction with their own physical characteristics.

My child is often ridiculed and hurt by the other children on our block, and I don’t know how to handle the situation. He gets very depressed and comes home crying frequently. How should I respond when this happens?

When your child has been rejected in this manner, he is badly in need of a friend — and you are elected. Let him talk. Don’t try to tell him that it doesn’t hurt or that it’s silly to be so sensitive. Ask him if he knows what it is that his “friends” don’t like. He may be causing their reaction by dominance, selfishness, or dishonesty. Be understanding and sympathetic without weeping in mutual despair. As soon as appropriate, involve yourself with him in a game or some other activity he will enjoy. Finally, set about resolving the underlying cause.

I would suggest that you ask your child to invite one of his school friends to go to the zoo on Saturday, or offer some other attractive “bait.” They might spend the night at your house. Genuine friendship often grows from such beginnings. Even the hostile children on the block may be more kind when only one of them is invited at a time. Not only can you help your child make friends in this way, but you can observe the social mistakes he is making to drive them away. The information you gain can later be used to help him improve his relationships with others.

My ten-year-old daughter hates to have her hair braided in pigtails because her friends don’t wear theirs that way. I have always loved pigtails, ever since I was a little girl. Am I wrong to make her please me by wearing her hair the way I want it?

Yes, particularly if it makes your daughter feel unnecessarily different and foolish with her friends. Social pressure on the nonconformist is severe, and you should not place your daughter in this uncomfortable position. Closeness between generations comes from the child’s knowledge that parents understand and appreciate feelings. Your inflexibility on this point reveals a lack of empathy and may bring later resentment.[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][dt_default_button link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fdrjamescdobson.org%2F||target:%20_blank|” size=”big”]DRJAMESCDOBSON.ORG[/dt_default_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]