A PAYH Success story

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Billy

Before coming to the Paul Anderson Youth Home (PAYH) at age 18, Billy was a drug addict, an alcoholic, and was being held in jail on two counts of burglary, two DUI’s, fleeing an officer, and five other misdemeanors. Statistically, Billy’s future was a life of incarceration, addiction, unemployment, limited education, and unhealthy family patterns. Instead, almost 25 years later, Billy is now a husband, father of three, college graduate with an MBA, and an Owner/Operator of a Chick-fil-A. That is a radical change from the young man who ran away from his home at the age of 16.

When Billy ran away from home, it was because he never really felt loved by his parents. He never believed anything good about himself nor was confident that he could accomplish anything. His actions followed his beliefs. He became a high school dropout, lived on the street, and literally slept on the side of the road for four months. It seemed that if he drank enough, he could sleep anywhere. He would rather be high and hungry than sober and full. The only joy he knew came from drugs and that was okay with him. He believed this about life: in this world, you have to take what you want.

LOOKING IN THE MIRROR Coming to the PAYH was a radical departure from the life he had been living of breaking into construction sites so that he could find buildings to sleep in, stealing food and living with no authority but his own. From his first morning when he woke up at 6am to run, along with new rules, expectations and strict discipline the transition was not easy. Slowly he began to change in ways he had not expected. One night, after he had been in the program for several months, Billy looked at his reflection in the gym mirror.

At the Home he had been exercising, working out, eating right and had a brand new wardrobe. Seeing himself in the mirror that night, for the first time in his life he thought, “I might go to college.” He had a new sense of hope. After all, he had changed physically in ways that he had never dreamed possible. He was in the best physical shape of his life. He was off drugs and alcohol. He felt like a new man.

As he began to consider all the things the PAYH provided for him, the opportunities he had for change, growth and hope, he realized that everything the staff did with and for him was for his own good, and it was working. Instead of a lengthy jail sentence, he had learned to work, study, get in shape, act socially, and become disciplined in every aspect of his life. What he had been taught was making him better and he liked himself for the very first time. So he began to really pay attention to what the program offered him and what the staff was saying to him. He began to ask questions. Soon, he accepted Christ as his savior. On July 25, 1990, Billy graduated from the Paul Anderson Youth Home and headed off to college.

The year and a half at the PAYH made an eternal difference in his life and others. Going from a high school dropout to a college graduate with a Master’s degree is by all definitions, a radical change. Certainly the long-term financial value of rescuing one life is significant. A Vanderbilt study places the value of rescuing a youth like Billy between $3.1 and $5.2 million dollars. While that number is staggering, it doesn’t compare to the real impact that one changed life can have on others. Billy is a sterling example of this truth. For all those who Billy knows and loves, they understand his real value far more than any number can adequately measure. While working at Chick-fil-A in Boston, he met and eventually married Christine. They have been married since 2002 and together they have three beautiful children; Aron, Roby, and Paige. As a father, Billy intentionally raises his children to know they are loved. He works to maintain a feeling of safety and confidence in his home so that his wife and children never have to experience the insecurity he felt growing up. His life is motivated by love.

Those he leads at work see the same motivation in his actions. As an Owner/Operator for Chick-fil-A, at any given time, he has around seventy employees working for him. It only takes a few brief moments with his team members to realize Billy is an exceptional man. More than just a boss, Billy knows and cares about his employees. More than fifteen years after he began managing employees in Boston, many of those he hired, only sixteen or seventeen years old at the time, still keep in touch with Billy. They still call him the greatest boss ever. Recently, when he moved to a new store, many of his employees from his old store followed him. To them, he is much more than just a boss. He is a father figure and a friend, someone they depend on for advice. Someone they trust to care. Those Chick-fil-A team members have families. Some who have wives, husbands, and children regard Billy as being a part of their family. All of them are impacted by his generous spirit.

It is seeing Billy through their eyes that gives you an idea of just how significant his impact is on others. When you begin to look at the ripple effect that took place in Billy’s life, both within his home and those with he works, you truly get a sense of the immeasurable value of one redeemed life. After having received so much through the kindness of others, Billy knows no other way to live his life than in service. To Billy, caring for people is the ultimate expression of that service and how he lives his life. Billy epitomizes what the PAYH desires for all our young men: that they would be assets to society rather than liabilities. Givers rather than takers. What Billy has learned from his experiences is something he himself feels fortunate to have learned when he did; that it is far better to give than to receive. Change starts with one! One that did not become a statistic, but a husband, father, employer, friend, and mentor.

Together, we can create more opportunities for change for young men like Billy. Make a contribution today that will provide another young man with the opportunity to change his story.

Please go to PAYH at info@payh.org or call 800-559-7294 to make a donation[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Life Skills to Start Teaching Your Kids at an Early Age

Get a jump start on teaching practical lessons to your children right now, starting with decision making and then building on each life skill lesson as your children grow.

1 – Decision-Making Skills

Making good decisions is a life skill every child should begin learning at a young age.

Begin with basic decisions like chocolate versus vanilla ice cream, blue socks or white socks, playing trains or playing cars. When kids reach elementary school age they can begin learning about the rewards of good decisions and the consequences of bad decisions.

Walk them through the many steps of decision making. Help them weigh their options, evaluate the pros and cons of that decision and then let them make the final decision to see how things play out.

2 – Health and Hygiene

Your kids are never too young to begin learning about health and hygiene. In our hectic day-to-day shuffle, we’re always telling our kids to take a bath, brush their teeth, wash their hands, and change their underwear. We never tell them why, though.

Explain why health and hygiene are always going to be crucial parts of their days. As your children begin learning about this life skill, set up a chart that allows them to check off each task as they complete it.

When these healthy habits are established over time, take away the chart and your kids will mentally go through the checklist throughout the day without you having to continually remind them.

3 -Time Management

Every parent knows how important time management is to keep your family on track. But it’s also important for kids to start learning time management lessons now.

Not only does teaching younger children how to measure time, stay on task and keep to a schedule help make your days easier, learning this life skill also helps them become masters of time so they can do everything from get up on schedule to ​someday getting to work on time.

4 – Meal Prep

Even the youngest children can learn how to prepare a meal in the kitchen. We’re not talking about a five-course dinner, of course, but you can teach preschoolers how to fix a sandwich and elementary school kids can be taught how to use the microwave. And from tots to teens, your kids can be your sous chefs when it comes time for you to cook.

As your children become more confident in the kitchen, they can add on other meal prep life skills like learning how to bag their own lunch, make healthy food choices, cook a simple meal on the stove with adult supervision and plan their own meals.​

5 – Money Management

We teach our kids to count. We teach our kids basic math. We can take those lessons further and turn them into life skills they can begin using right now.

Money management is something adults have trouble with. Now’s the perfect time to start teaching your children about money, its importance and how to manage it so they’ll be better prepared when they start earning a paycheck of their own.

Teach your kids effective money management so they can learn how to save, spend wisely, make change, and understand that writing a check or using a credit card isn’t free money.

6 – Cleaning

Sometimes it’s easier for parents to do all of the housekeeping themselves. It’s a missed opportunity for us to teach our kids how to keep the house clean, which they’ll eventually need to know when they leave for college and someday have a house of their own to take care of.

Start with age-appropriate chore charts that include learning how to make the bed, empty the dishwasher and dust. Also, think of the daily messes your kids make and how they can clean up after themselves.

For example, keep a towel or sponge in the bathroom that lets kids wipe away those globs of toothpaste they leave on the counter. Since toys magically move from room to room in your house, keep a basket kids can throw them all in to take back to their own bedroom at the end of the day.

Set a daily housekeeping schedule to make cleaning a part of their routine and stick to it.

7 – Laundry

If you have kids, you have a lot of laundry. Teaching your children how to wash, fold and put away their laundry is not only a life skill that will help them, it will also help you.

Toddlers can learn a lot by helping you with laundry, such as sorting clothes by color and understanding textures. As they grow, kids can start putting the clothes in the washer and transferring them to the dryer. Elementary school children can then learn how to operate the washing machine and dryer and how much laundry detergent is needed.

As laundry comes out of the dryer, you can show them how to fold their clothes and put them away. Pretty soon, they’ll be handling all of their laundry on their own.

8 – Comparison Shopping

“I want it! I want it! I want it!” How many times have you heard this when your kids spot candy, a toy, a T-shirt, a fish, or just about anything else you can think of that kids think they’ve got to have right now?

When we’re grown-ups we understand the value of the dollar and the importance of comparison shopping. However, we often overlook this valuable life skill we should be teaching our children.

The next time you’re standing in the store caught between a hefty price tag and a child demanding for you to fork over your cash, take the time to get your phone out and search for the item on a variety of shopping sites. Show your kids how much that item costs at other stores and what comparable items there are that may be of better quality.

Maybe the one in the store where you are is the best deal and top product after all. But teaching kids to be smart shoppers and taking the time to comparison shop will help them save money everywhere they go while also making smart decisions on the types of products they choose.

9 – Ordering at Restaurants

As parents, we tend to place our children’s orders at restaurants just to make things easier on the server. However, letting our kids order for themselves is fun for them and builds confidence.

Many restaurants have picture menus on the kids’ menu so preschoolers can begin by circling or coloring what they want to eat. As that confidence grows, kids can begin verbally telling the server what they would like, from the entrée to the sides. Remind the kids to practice good manners by saying please and thank you after they order.

10 – Getting Ready

Kids can learn how to get ready on their own at an early age. Let them pick out the clothes they’ll wear the next day before they go to bed. Choose an alarm clock that’s easy for them to set. Lay out their hairbrush and toothbrush. Use visuals to illustrate the whole process.

For example, take a picture of the alarm clock, their clothes, another one of their toothbrush, then hairbrush and even the potty to remind them to go before you head out the door. The pictures are daily flashcards until they get in the habit of getting ready all on their own.​

11 – Maintenance Around the House

Kids love to be your big helper and there’s always light maintenance around the house that they can pitch in to do.

Easy tasks include showing them how to change the toilet paper roll or bag up the trash. Older children can learn how to change a light bulb, unclog a drain and change, the vacuum cleaner bag.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Feelings and Cancer

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]National Cancer institute Visit HERE

Just as cancer affects your physical health, it can bring up a wide range of feelings you’re not used to dealing with. It can also make existing feelings seem more intense. They may change daily, hourly, or even minute to minute. This is true whether you’re currently in treatment, done with treatment, or a friend or family member. These feelings are all normal.

Often the values you grew up with affect how you think about and cope with cancer. For example some people:

Feel they have to be strong and protect their friends and families

Seek support and turn to loved ones or other cancer survivors

Ask for help from counselors or other professionals

Turn to their faith to help them cope

Whatever you decide, it’s important to do what’s right for you and not to compare yourself with others. Your friends and family members may share some of the same feelings. If you feel comfortable, share this information with them.

Overwhelmed

When you first learn that you have cancer, you may feel as if your life is out of control. This could be because:

You wonder if you’re going to live.

Your normal routine is disrupted by doctor visits and treatments.

People use medical terms that you don’t understand.

You feel like you can’t do the things you enjoy.

You feel helpless and lonely.

Even if you feel out of control, there are ways you can take charge. It may help to learn as much as you can about your cancer. The more you know, the more in control you’ll feel. Ask your doctor questions and don’t be afraid to say when you don’t understand.

For some people, it feels better to stay busy. If you have the energy, try taking part in activities such as music, crafts, reading, or learning something new.

Denial

When you were first diagnosed, you may have had trouble believing or accepting the fact that you have cancer. This is called denial. It can be helpful because it can give you time to adjust to your diagnosis. It can also give you time to feel hopeful and better about the future.

Sometimes, denial is a serious problem. If it lasts too long, it can keep you from getting the treatment you need.

The good news is that most people work through denial. Usually by the time treatment begins, most people accept the fact that they have cancer and move forward. This is true for those with cancer as well as the people they love and care about.

Anger

It’s very normal to ask, “Why me?” and be angry at the cancer. You may also feel anger or resentment towards your health care providers, your healthy friends and your loved ones. And if you’re religious, you may even feel angry with God.

Anger often comes from feelings that are hard to show. Common examples are:

-fear

-panic

-frustration

-anxiety

-helplessness

If you feel angry, you don’t have to pretend that everything is okay. It’s not healthy to keep it inside you. Talk with your family and friends about your anger. Or, ask your doctor to refer you to a counselor. And know that anger can be helpful in that it may motivate you to take action.

Fear and Worry

It’s scary to hear that you have cancer. You may be afraid or worried about:

-Being in pain, either from the cancer or the treatment

-Feeling sick or looking different as a result of your treatment

-Taking care of your family

-Paying your bills

-Keeping your job

-Dying

Some fears about cancer are based on stories, rumors, or wrong information. To cope with fears and worries, it often helps to be informed. Most people feel better when they learn the facts. They feel less afraid and know what to expect. Learn about your cancer and understand what you can do to be an active partner in your care. Some studies even suggest that people who are well-informed about their illness and treatment are more likely to follow their treatment plans and recover from cancer more quickly than those who are not.

Hope

Once people accept that they have cancer, they often feel a sense of hope. There are many reasons to feel hopeful. Millions of people who have had cancer are alive today. Your chances of living with cancer—and living beyond it—are better now than they have ever been before. And people with cancer can lead active lives, even during treatment.

Some doctors think that hope may help your body deal with cancer. So, scientists are studying whether a hopeful outlook and positive attitude helps people feel better. Here are some ways you can build your sense of hope:

Plan your days as you’ve always done.

Don’t limit the things you like to do just because you have cancer.

Look for reasons to have hope. If it helps, write them down or talk to others about them.

-Spend time in nature.

-Reflect on your religious or spiritual beliefs.

-Listen to stories about people with cancer who are leading active lives.

Stress and Anxiety

Both during and after treatment, it’s normal to have stress over all the life changes you are going through. Anxiety means you have extra worry, can’t relax, and feel tense. You may notice that:

-Your heart beats faster.

-You have headaches or muscle pains.

-You don’t feel like eating. Or you eat more.

-You feel sick to your stomach or have diarrhea.

-You feel shaky, weak, or dizzy.

-You have a tight feeling in your throat and chest.

-You sleep too much or too little.

-You find it hard to concentrate.

If you have any of these feelings, talk to your doctor. Though they are common signs of stress, you will want to make sure they aren’t due to medicines or treatment.

Stress can keep your body from healing as well as it should.

If you’re worried about your stress, ask your doctor to suggest a counselor for you to talk to. You could also take a class that teaches ways to deal with stress. The key is to find ways to control your stress and not to let it control you.

Sadness and Depression

Many people with cancer feel sad. They feel a sense of loss of their health, and the life they had before they learned they had the disease. Even when you’re done with treatment, you may still feel sad. This is a normal response to any serious illness. It may take time to work through and accept all the changes that are taking place.

When you’re sad, you may have very little energy, feel tired, or not want to eat. For some, these feelings go away or lessen over time. But for others, these emotions can become stronger. The painful feelings don’t get any better, and they get in the way of daily life. This may be a medical condition called depression. For some, cancer treatment may have added to this problem by changing the way the brain works.

Getting Help for Depression

Depression can be treated. Below are common signs of depression. If you have any of the following signs for more than 2 weeks, talk to your doctor about treatment. Be aware that some of these symptoms could be due to physical problems, so it’s important to talk about them with your doctor.

Emotional signs:

-Feelings of sadness that don’t go away

-Feeling emotionally numb

-Feeling nervous or shaky

-Having a sense of guilt or feeling unworthy

-Feeling helpless or hopeless, as if life has no meaning

-Feeling short-tempered, moody

-Having a hard time concentrating, feeling scatterbrained

-Crying for long periods of time or many times each day

-Focusing on worries and problems

-No interest in the hobbies and activities you used to enjoy

-Finding it hard to enjoy everyday things, such as food or being with family and friends

-Thinking about hurting yourself

-Thoughts about killing yourself

Body changes:

-Unintended weight gain or loss not due to illness or treatment

-Sleep problems, such as not being able to sleep, having nightmares, or sleeping too much

-Racing heart, dry mouth, increased perspiration, upset stomach, diarrhea

-Changes in energy level

-Fatigue that doesn’t go away

-Headaches, other aches and pains

If your doctor thinks that you suffer from depression, he or she may give you medicine to help you feel less tense. Or, he or she may refer you to other experts. Don’t feel that you should have to control these feelings on your own. Getting the help you need is important for your life and your health.

Guilt

If you feel guilty, know that many people with cancer feel this way. You may blame yourself for upsetting the people you love, or worry that you’re a burden in some way. Or, you may envy other people’s good health and be ashamed of this feeling. You might even blame yourself for lifestyle choices that you think could have led to your cancer.

These feelings are all very common. It may help you to share them with someone. Let your doctor know if you would like to talk with a counselor or go to a support group.

Loneliness

People with cancer often feel lonely or distant from others. This may be for a number of reasons:

-Friends sometimes have a hard time dealing with cancer and may not visit or call you.

-You may feel too sick to take part in the hobbies and activities you used to enjoy.

-Sometimes, even when you’re with people you care about, you may feel that no one understands what you’re going through.

-It’s also normal to feel alone after treatment. You may miss the support you got from your health care team. Many people have a sense that their safety net has been pulled away, and they get less attention. It’s common to still feel cut off from certain friends or family members. Some of them may think that now that treatment is over, you will be back to normal soon, even though this may not be true. Others may want to help but don’t know how.

Look for emotional support in different ways. It could help you to talk to other people who have cancer or to join a support group. Or, you may feel better talking only to a close friend or family member, or counselor, or a member of your faith or spiritual community. Do what feels right for you.

Gratitude

Some people see their cancer as a “wake-up call.” They realize the importance of enjoying the little things in life. They go places they’ve never been. They finish projects they had started but put aside. They spend more time with friends and family. They mend broken relationships.

It may be hard at first, but you can find joy in your life if you have cancer. Pay attention to the things you do each day that make you smile. They can be as simple as drinking a good cup of coffee, being with a child, or talking to a friend.

You can also do things that are more special to you, like being in nature or praying in a place that has meaning for you. Or, it could be playing a sport you love or cooking a good meal. Whatever you choose, embrace the things that bring you joy when you can.

Ways to Cope with Your Emotions

Express Your Feelings

People have found that when they express strong feelings like anger or sadness, they’re more able to let go of them. Some sort out their feelings by talking to friends or family, other cancer survivors, a support group, or a counselor. But even if you prefer not to discuss your cancer with others, you can still sort out your feelings by thinking about them or writing them down.

Look for the Positive

Sometimes this means looking for the good even in a bad time or trying to be hopeful instead of thinking the worst. Try to use your energy to focus on wellness and what you can do now to stay as healthy as possible.

Don’t Blame Yourself for Your Cancer

Some people believe that they got cancer because of something they did or did not do. But scientists don’t know why one person gets cancer and one person doesn’t. All bodies are different. Remember, cancer can happen to anyone.

Don’t Try to Be Upbeat If You’re Not

Many people say they want to have the freedom to give in to their feelings sometimes. As one woman said, “When it gets really bad, I just tell my family I’m having a bad cancer day and go upstairs and crawl into bed.”

You Choose When to Talk about Your Cancer

It can be hard for people to know how to talk to you about your cancer. Often loved ones mean well, but they don’t know what to say or how to act. You can make them feel more at ease by asking them what they think or how they feel.

Find Ways to Help Yourself Relax

Whatever activity helps you unwind, you should take some time to do it. Meditation, guided imagery, and relaxation exercises are just a few ways that have been shown to help others; these may help you relax when you feel worried.

Be as Active as You Can

Getting out of the house and doing something can help you focus on other things besides cancer and the worries it brings. Exercise or gentle yoga and stretching can help too.

Look for Things You Enjoy

You may like hobbies such as woodworking, photography, reading, or crafts. Or find creative outlets such as art, movies, music, or dance.

Look at What You Can Control

Some people say that putting their lives in order helps. Being involved in your health care, keeping your appointments, and making changes in your lifestyle are among the things you can control. Even setting a daily schedule can give you a sense of control. And while no one can control every thought, some say that they try not to dwell on the fearful ones, but instead do what they can to enjoy the positive parts of life.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

With all natural and organic compounds, is CBD oil right for you?

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Essential CBD Oil is lab tested to ensure that you know what you are getting. Unfortunately, this is not the industry standard. With Essential brand products you will know the entire Cannabinoid profile. At Essential, we believe in providing our clients with lab tested products that ensure quality, accuracy and safety. Lab testing in any industry is always a great idea.

NON-PSYCHOACTIVE

Essential CBD products contain less than .3% Psychoactive Ingredients. CBD is non-psychoactive because it does not act on the same pathways as the Psychoactive counterparts. These pathways in the brain, called CB1 receptors, are responsible for the psychoactive effects. Our test results guarantee that there is no more than .3% Psychoactive Ingridents in any of our products. The .3% or less standard has been established by the FDA as a trace amount with no psychoactive impacts on the human brain.

ABOUT US

Our background comes from E Commerce and Pharmaceuticals. The area we are located has long been engaged in pharmaceutical research and new drug development. Most of our lab equipment was acquired from a large pharmaceutical company.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

5 Critical Strategies for Cancer Prevention and Optimal Health

Are you worried about the long-term impact of a poor diet on your health? Do you walk around feeling exhausted most of the time? Are you stressed? Do you have difficulty sleeping? Would you like to be exercising regularly but haven’t managed to work it into your busy schedule? You’re not alone…

While conventional medicine wants you to think that disease is a matter of chance, the reality is that disease (or a lack thereof) is almost entirely under your control. If you wish to be healthy, there are certain things you can do that reliably and consistently produce a healthy outcome

Top 5 Cancer Prevention Strategies

In this article, I want to share with you my top five strategies for optimal health, specifically as it relates to fighting cancer or cancer prevention.

#1 – Diet is Primary

Starting on an alternative cancer treatment protocol is like putting wood into the fireplace (i.e. your body). Once that wood catches fire and starts burning, the fire is going to kill the cancer cells that have colonized in your fireplace. However, eating a poor diet is like pouring water on that same fire; a bad diet will destroy many alternative cancer treatments. In fact, many scientific studies have shown that a poor diet alone can cause cancer.

All too often people think they are cured of cancer when the tumor is gone or when the cancer cells are dead. They then revert to their old ways of life, their old diet, their old vices, and sadly, the cancer returns. What we must remember is that some internal condition allowed the cancer to grow initially and if that internal condition returns, due to poor diet, then the cancer will also return.

How do we keep our internal environment healthy? Eat organic whole foods. Avoid genetically modified foods (GMOs). Stay away from processed foods.

#2 – Detoxification is Critical

In reality, detoxification is probably the most important yet overlooked part of an overall health plan and is critical for cancer prevention.

Detoxification is the process of neutralizing, transforming and eliminating toxins from the body and clearing excess mucus and congestion. A poor diet, poor digestion, a sluggish colon, reduced function in the liver, and poor elimination from the kidneys all lead to increased toxicity.

What is the process of detoxification? First, cleanse the colon, then rid your body of parasites, then cleanse the kidneys, liver and gall bladder, the blood and the remaining organs. This may be best order to follow.

Detoxification is an essential part of overall health and it is a crucial part of the cancer-fighting regimen. Did you know that God has given us a natural system to assist us with internal detox? This leads me to my next strategy, which is a specific exercise similar to jumping on the trampoline… it’s called rebounding.

#3 – Exercise is Essential

Research has led many scientists to conclude that jumping on a mini-trampoline (i.e. rebounding) is possibly the most effective exercise devised by man, especially because of the effect rebounding has on the lymph system.

The human body needs to move. The lymph system bathes every cell and carries nutrients to them while removing toxins such as dead and cancerous cells, heavy metals, infectious viruses, and other assorted wastes. But unlike the blood (which is pumped by the heart), the lymph is totally dependent on physical exercise.

Without adequate movement, the cells are left stewing in their own waste products and starving for nutrients, a situation which contributes to cancer and other degenerative diseases − as well as premature aging. Rebounding has been shown to increase lymph flow by up to 30 times! Also, all of the body’s cells become stronger in response to the increased “G forces” during rebounding, and this cellular exercise results in the self-propelled immune cells being up to 5 times more active!

Rebounding on a mini-trampoline directly strengthens the immune system, increases lymph flow, and oxygenates the blood. In my opinion, it is the best exercise to prevent and fight cancer.

Exercise also causes the body to sweat, and sweating is essential in the detoxification process. In addition to exercising, I sit in a sauna nightly to make sure that I’m sweating out toxins every day.

#4 – Get Some Sun

Vitamin D is automatically produced when the cholesterol in your skin absorbs the ultraviolet B (UVB) rays from the sun. It then circulates throughout your body to prevent cancer (and other diseases). It’s interesting to note that your body automatically produces just the right amount of vitamin D. So, if you get more sunlight than you need, you cannot overdose on vitamin D. Your skin will produce only what’s needed, and no more. (You do need to be careful about burning in the sun as too much exposure can create a problem.)

Researchers in Belgium appear to be the first to show that vitamin D lowers C-reactive protein (CRP), a measure of systemic inflammation. In critically ill patients. CRP is elevated when there is inflammation, and chronic inflammation is a risk factor for a number of conditions including coronary heart disease, diabetes, Alzheimer’s, and cancer.

Don’t fall for the “sunscreen myth.” The idea that sunscreen prevents cancer is a myth promoted by a greedy “tag-team” effort between the “cancer industry” and the sunscreen industry.

Sunlight is actually good for you (especially the UVB rays), and sunscreens filter out UVB! The main chemical used in sunscreens to filter out UVB is octyl methoxycinnamate (aka “OMC”) which has been shown to kill mouse cells even at low doses. Plus, it was shown to be particularly toxic when exposed to sunshine. And guess what? OMC is present in about 90% of sunscreens!

#5 – Sleep is Vital

No matter how well you eat, how often you exercise, and how much time you spend planning and cooking your meals, you can never be truly healthy if you don’t get enough quality sleep.

Lack of sleep can alter your metabolism, making you prone to weight gain, diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. It can dampen your immune response, leaving you susceptible to colds and flu. Not getting enough sleep can make you feel so overwhelmed and exhausted that you stop making good choices and end up doing what is easiest at the time.

You spend 1/3 of your life in your bedroom, so you need to make sure that it’s conducive to rest and relaxation. At night, turn off the Wi-Fi in your house and make sure that the electronics are not too close to your bed, due to the damaging effects of EMF (electromagnetic frequencies).

Try to also avoid things that keep you awake (like coffee and sodas). Of course there are many more reasons to avoid sodas (especially diet sodas), but drinking these beverages before bed can keep you awake due to the caffein AND don’t eat a large meal before bed. A big meal at night can rev up your metabolism and make it difficult to wind down. Also, our internal clocks (circadian rhythm) work best when we stick to a predictable schedule. Try to go to bed around the same time every night and awaken at roughly the same time every morning.

The Sugar and Cancer Connection: Why Sugar Is Called “The White Death”

 

By Ty Bollinger

The Truth about Cancer visit HERE. As good as it may taste, sugar is NOT your friend. It may “feel” like your friend when it comforts you (due to the beta-endorphin rush in your brain), but sugar is really your ENEMY.

Truth be told, regular consumption of sugary foods is one of the worst things that you can do for your health. Modern scientific research has shown us, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that sugar in your food (in all its myriad forms) is taking a devastating toll on your health. We’ll explore cancer and sugar further down, but let’s first take a look at the sugar consumption trends over the past 300 years:

-In 1700, the average person consumed about 4 pounds of sugar per year.

-In 1800, the average person consumed about 18 pounds of sugar per year.

-In 1900, individual consumption had risen to 90 pounds of sugar per year.

-In 2012, more than 50% of all Americans consumed 1/2 pound of sugar per day — translating to a whopping 180 pounds of sugar per year!

-In 1890, only 3 people out of 100,000 had diabetes. In 2012, almost 8,000 out of every 100,000 people was diagnosed with diabetes (and this number is rising all the time)!

Creating Our Addiction to Sugar

The “sugar rush” has been targeted at our children. American children are consuming about 10 times as much sugar as they were in 1900, especially in the form of high fructose corn syrup (HFCS), which is the average American’s greatest source of calories! Highly addictive HFCS contains fructose and glucose, but they are NOT bound together (as they are in table sugar) so the body doesn’t need to break it down. Therefore, the fructose is absorbed immediately, going straight to the liver, which turns it into fat (VLDL and triglycerides).

According to Dr. Joseph Mercola:

“Fructose also tricks the body into gaining weight by fooling your metabolism (it turns off the appetite-control system). Fructose does not appropriately stimulate insulin, which in turn does not suppress ghrelin (the “hunger hormone”) and doesn’t stimulate leptin (the “satiety hormone”), which together result in your eating more and developing insulin resistance.” This process also suppresses the immune system.

But just because you avoid HFCS doesn’t mean that you’re in the clear. Excess intake of ALL processed sugars results in compromised immune function (decreasing the white blood cells’ ability to destroy bacteria), obesity, and diabetes.

And if that’s not enough, keep in mind that sugar is HIGHLY addictive! That’s right! Dr. Serge Ahmed of Bordeaux, France, has been working with rats and giving them the choice between cocaine and sugar. Guess which one wins, time and again?

That’s right… sugar!

It turns out that the sweet taste of sugar is more rewarding than the high of cocaine.

You see, sugar produces dopamine − a happy, feel-good chemical − in the brain. People get addicted to eating sugar, whereby they need it to feel “normal” and they undergo “withdrawal” if they cut sugar from their diets. If they go “cold turkey” for a few days, their brain will begin to produce dopamine on its own, but the discomfort of the withdrawal process keeps many “sugar addicts” trapped in their addiction.

Does Sugar Feed Cancer? Exploring the Sugar and Cancer Connection

Due to the anaerobic respiratory mechanism exhibited by ALL cancer cells, sugar is cancer’s favorite food! What this means is that cancer feeds on sugar. And since half of the white sugar in the USA comes from sugar beets, you should remember that most beets are now genetically modified with all the associated risks of GMOs. This is another reason to keep the “White Death” out of your diet and reduce your risk of various cancers, isn’t it?

Whether you are currently healing from a type of cancer such as breast cancer or prostate cancer, or are simply trying to maintain good dietary principles, I personally recommend that you avoid white sugar, brown sugar, agave, and all artificial sweeteners such as aspartame/AminoSweet, sucralose, and saccharin. If you have a sweet tooth, it’s best to stick with 100% organic green stevia, xylitol, raw honey, pure maple syrup, molasses, and coconut sugar.

The bottom line… if you want to be and stay healthy, you MUST take control of your sugar intake so that it doesn’t take control over you and your health!

Ending the Sugar Confusion

It’s easy to become confused by the various sugars and sweeteners, so here is a basic overview:

-Saccharide = sugar

-Glucose (aka “dextrose” or “grape sugar”), galactose (“milk sugar”), and fructose (“fruit sugar”) are all “monosaccharides” (i.e. single sugar molecules), known as “simple sugars.” The primary difference between them is the way your body metabolizes them.

-Glucose is a form of energy you were designed to run on. Every cell in your body uses glucose for energy.

-High amounts of fructose are very damaging to the body if it isn’t burned immediately for energy because it travels directly to the liver where it’s converted to triglycerides (fats). Excess triglycerides increase insulin resistance (and insulin production), thus contributing to diabetes in a “back door” fashion.

-The simple sugars can combine to form more complex sugars, like sucrose (“table sugar”) which is a “disaccharide” comprised of 50% glucose and 50% fructose.

-“Refined” white sugar (pure sucrose) is washed with a syrup solution, then with hot water, clarified (usually chemically) to remove impurities, decolorized, concentrated, evaporated, re-boiled until crystals form, centrifuged again to separate, then dried. By this point, any remnants of “natural goodness” and “nutritional value” have completely disappeared! Quite frankly, white sugar should be considered an “industrial product” rather than “food.”

-“Brown sugar” is white sugar mixed with molasses.

-“Raw” sugar is not really raw. It has been cooked, and most of the minerals and vitamins are gone. But it’s probably a little better than refined white sugar because it has a little of the molasses remaining.

-Aspartame or AminoSweet is a neurotoxic rat poison… need I say more?

-Splenda (sucralose) is NOT a sugar, despite its deceptive marketing slogan, “made from sugar.” It’s a chlorinated artificial sweetener in line with aspartame.

-Honey is approximately 50% fructose, but in natural (raw and unpasteurized) form contains many health benefits. Buying honey that is local and unpasteurized is best.

-Stevia is an extremely sweet herb derived from the leaf of the South American stevia plant, which is completely safe (in its natural form). Green stevia is the whole plant, while white stevia is processed and can often contain other ingredients like natural flavors or dextrose − a form of sugar. 100% organic green stevia in its natural state is what you want.

-Agave nectar is made from the agave plant, which is a cactus. Sounds natural, right? Like maple syrup from a tree, or honey from a beehive. Only it isn’t. Agave is HIGHLY processed while the end product does not even remotely resemble the original agave plant. Furthermore, agave is approximately 80% fructose (much higher than honey and maple syrup).

-HFCS (high fructose corn syrup) is 55% fructose and 45% glucose. It is mostly genetically modified. Stay away!

-Rapadura is the pure juice extracted from the sugar cane (using a press), which is then evaporated over low heat, whilst being stirred with paddles, then sieve ground to produce a grainy sugar. It has not been cooked at high heats or spun to change it into crystals, and the molasses is maintained in the sugar. “Sucanat” is the USA trade name for Rapadura.

-Coconut sugar is made from the sweet watery sap that drips from the cut flower buds of the coconut palm. It has a low glycemic index (GI) and is rich in amino acids. It is typically less than 10% fructose, with sucrose being the primary component.

-Xylitol is a sweetener known as a “sugar alcohol” (or polyol). Sugar alcohols are neither sugars nor alcohols − they are carbohydrates (with structures that happen to resemble sugar and alcohol). Xylitol is extracted from corn or birch cellulose. Unlike sugar, Xylitol is slowly absorbed, does not cause a rapid blood sugar increase, and does not require an immediate insulin response from the body to be metabolized. Moreover, many studies have shown that it actually helps prevent dental cavities, ear infections, and some evidence suggests that it helps prevent gum disease because Xylitol is anti-bacterial. However, Xylitol does have some potential health side effects (most notably gastrointestinal issues) and should be used with caution.

Healthy Eating

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Whether you have a toddler or a teen, here are five of the best strategies to improve nutrition and encourage smart eating habits:

  • Have regular family meals.
  • Serve a variety of healthy foods and snacks.
  • Be a role model by eating healthy yourself.
  • Avoid battles over food.
  • Involve kids in the process.

Sure, eating well can be hard — family schedules are hectic and grab-and-go convenience food is readily available. But our tips can help make all five strategies part of your busy household.

Family Meals

Family meals are a comforting ritual for both parents and kids. Children like the predictability of family meals and parents get a chance to catch up with their kids. Kids who take part in regular family meals are also:

  • more likely to eat fruits, vegetables, and grains
  • less likely to snack on unhealthy foods
  • less likely to smoke, use marijuana, or drink alcohol

Also, family meals are a chance for parents to introduce kids to new foods and to be role models for healthy eating.

Teens may turn up their noses at the prospect of a family meal — not surprising because they’re busy and want to be more independent. Yet studies find that teens still want their parents’ advice and counsel, so use mealtime as a chance to reconnect.

You might also try these tips:
  • Let kids invite a friend to dinner.
  • Involve your child in meal planning and preparation.
  • Keep mealtime calm and friendly — no lectures or arguing.

What counts as a family meal? Whenever you and your family eat together — whether it’s takeout food or a home-cooked meal with all the trimmings. Strive for nutritious food and a time when everyone can be there. This may mean eating dinner a little later to accommodate a teen who’s at sports practice. It also can mean setting aside time on the weekends when it may be more convenient to gather as a group, such as for Sunday brunch.

Stock Up on Healthy Foods

Kids, especially younger ones, will eat mostly what’s available at home. That’s why it’s important to control the supply lines — the foods that you serve for meals and have on hand for snacks.

Follow these basic guidelines:

  • Work fruits and vegetables into the daily routine, aiming for the goal of at least five servings a day. Be sure you serve fruit or vegetables at every meal.
  • Make it easy for kids to choose healthy snacks by keeping fruits and vegetables on hand and ready to eat. Other good snacks include yogurt, peanut butter and celery, or whole-grain crackers and cheese.
  • Serve lean meats and other good sources of protein, such as fish, eggs, beans, and nuts.
  • Choose whole-grain breads and cereals so kids get more fiber.
  • Choose healthier cooking methods, such as broiling, grilling, roasting, and steaming.
  • Limit fast food and low-nutrient snacks, such as chips and candy. But don’t completely ban favorite snacks from your home. Instead, make them “once-in-a-while” foods, so kids don’t feel deprived.
  • Limit sugary drinks, such as soda and fruit-flavored drinks. Serve water and low-fat milk instead.
Be a Role Model

The best way for you to encourage healthy eating is to eat well yourself. Kids will follow the lead of the adults they see every day. By eating fruits and vegetables and not overindulging in the less nutritious stuff, you’ll be sending the right message.

Another way to be a good role model is to serve appropriate portions and not overeat. Talk about your feelings of fullness, especially with younger children. You might say, “This is delicious, but I’m full, so I’m going to stop eating.” Similarly, parents who are always dieting or complaining about their bodies may foster these same negative feelings in their kids. Try to keep a positive approach about food.

Don’t Battle Over Food

It’s easy for food to become a source of conflict. Well-intentioned parents might find themselves bargaining or bribing kids so they eat the healthy food in front of them. A better strategy is to give kids some control, but to also limit the kind of foods available at home.

Kids should decide if they’re hungry, what they will eat from the foods served, and when they’re full. Parents control which foods are available to their kids, both at mealtime and between meals. Here are some guidelines to follow:

  • Establish a predictable schedule of meals and snacks. It’s OK to choose not to eat when both parents and kids know when to expect the next meal or snack.
  • Don’t force kids to clean their plates. Doing so teaches kids to override feelings of fullness.
  • Don’t bribe or reward kids with food. Avoid using dessert as the prize for eating the meal.
  • Don’t use food as a way of showing love. When you want to show love, give kids a hug, some of your time, or praise.
Get Kids Involved

Most kids will enjoy deciding what to make for dinner. Talk to them about making choices and planning a balanced meal. Some might even want to help shop for ingredients and prepare the meal. At the store, teach kids to check out food labels to begin understanding what to look for.

In the kitchen, select age-appropriate tasks so kids can play a part without getting injured or feeling overwhelmed. And at the end of the meal, don’t forget to praise the chef.

School lunches can be another learning lesson for kids. More important, if you can get them thinking about what they eat for lunch, you might be able to help them make positive changes. Brainstorm about what kinds of foods they’d like for lunch or go to the grocery store to shop together for healthy, packable foods.

There’s another important reason why kids should be involved: It can help prepare them to make good decisions on their own about the foods they want to eat. That’s not to say they’ll suddenly want a salad instead of french fries, but the mealtime habits you help create now can lead to a lifetime of healthier choices.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

10 Tips for Preventing Cancer in Young Adults

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By Dr. Veronique Desaulniers

Written for The truth about Cancer, visit HERE[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]Young men and women who are just starting out in life shouldn’t have to worry about something like cancer. The fact that there even needs to be a national awareness week for young adult cancer saddens me. But the facts don’t lie: cancer is on the rise when it comes to people under 50.

Even though currently only about 4% of all cancer diagnoses in the United States are of young people, that number is set to rise drastically in the coming years if nothing changes.

How can we stop the travesty of cancer from happening to the next generation of our youth?

Here are some cancer statistics that may surprise you:
  • More than 60,000 American 20 and 30-something’s are currently diagnosed with cancer each year
  • Cancer accounts for close to 10% of all deaths of young people in United States. It is the leading cause of death from disease for young girls
  • Survival rates for young people with cancer in general have not changed much in the last decade, compared to slightly higher rates of survival for people 50 and older
  • The number of people in this age group who will be diagnosed with colon cancer is expected to increase by 90% by 2030.
  • The number of young people who will be diagnosed with rectal cancer could increase by 124%, according to a recent University of Texas study
  • The number of young women diagnosed with breast cancer in the United States has risen steadily over the last four decades.
  • Aggressive forms of breast cancer are on the rise for young women in other countries as well. A 2007 study of Swiss women ages 25-39 saw an increase of close to 50% just in the years 2002-2004 alone
  • Nearly two out of three cases of thyroid cancer are found in individuals under the age of 50, according to the American Cancer Society
As a Young Adult: 10 Things You Can Do To Prevent Cancer NOW

It is no surprise that rates for diseases such as breast, thyroid, and colon cancer are on the rise in young people. Like the population at large, lifestyle, eating habits, and environmental toxins are the common sense cancer culprits when it comes to young people.

People it their 20s and 30s, however, have some added hurdles to jump over. Heavy social stigma around the disease can come not just from peers; many conventional doctors still don’t take the possibility of cancer seriously for their younger patients. Couple this bias with the fact that individuals ages 20-40 are the least insured segment of the population, and many easily-reversible pre-cancerous conditions may go unnoticed until it’s too late.

If you are young and you are concerned about cancer, or if you are the concerned parent of a young adult, there are things you can do RIGHT NOW to keep healthy and cancer-free. Besides safe, very early detection, consider the following:

If you smoke, stop! In addition to lung cancer, smoking increases your risk of multiple cancers including cancers of the esophagus, larynx, mouth, throat, kidney, bladder, liver, pancreas, stomach, cervix, colon and rectum, and myeloid leukemia.

If you drink more than 3 or more alcoholic beverages a week, cut back. A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that women who have 3 drinks per week have a 15% higher risk of breast cancer. The study also found that teenage girls who drink 3-5 alcoholic beverages per week have a greater risk of developing benign breast lumps which can turn into cancer later in life. Alcohol consumption increases the risk of mouth, throat, esophagus, liver, and colon cancer in men, including young men.

If you eat at fast food joints, start to wean yourself off. Processed foods contain trans-fats and high sugar and carbohydrate loads that can lead to cancer, along with clogged arteries and a host of other disease conditions. Not convinced? Watch the movie Supersize Me with independent filmmaker Morgan Spurlock. You will never touch a McDonald’s French fry again! On that note, did you know that there are actually 19 ingredients in a McD’s french fry? One of them is Dimethylpolysiloxane, also known as Silly Putty, an anti-foaming agent used mostly for silicone sealants and caulking.

Drink lots of fresh, pure water. Water is the best detoxifier. Also, choose a BPA-free plastic or glass container for your liquids and check the source of your drinking water. If you are drinking straight from the tap (or you have a simple under-the-sink filter), chances are you are taking in fluoride with each gulp. Fluoride has been added to most U.S. municipal water supplies since the 1960s and has been linked to neurological damage and hypothyroidism. Thyroid imbalance can develop into thyroid cancer if left unchecked. Reverse osmosis filtration is your best bet when it comes to filters.

Throw away your microwave oven now! Microwaving is a source of radiation and radiation exposure causes cancer. If you do decide to use a microwave, NEVER heat things up in it that are surrounded by plastic or Styrofoam. If you do, you will be eating a toxic soup, not leftover pizza.

If you eat meat, switch to those that have no hormones and no antibiotics. Eat only grass-fed, organic, and hormone-free. Cut back on your intake of pork as well, which tends to come with more toxin and parasitic build-up than other meat proteins do.

Use organic body care products and household cleaners. Avoid products that contain chemicals like formaldehyde, a known carcinogen.

Ladies – NEVER carry your cellphone in your bra. Gents – get your phone out of your pocket. When you talk on the phone, use the speaker function. Turn off your cell phone when you’re not using it. Also, don’t put your laptop or tablet on your lap when you are working online. EMF pollution (radiation) is real and it can cause cancer.

Include some cancer-fighting foods in your diet every day. These include broccoli, flax, green, leafy veggies and omega-3 fatty acids which can be found in fresh, organic cold water fish or as a supplement. Also consider getting your vitamin D and iodine levels checked. Iodine can combat the effects of fluoride-overload mentioned earlier and helps to regulate both endocrine and reproductive system hormone levels. Vitamin D deficiency has been linked to not only cancer, but also diabetes, osteoporosis, autoimmune conditions, and autism.

Finally, don’t stress out! Nothing is that important that you have to put your health at risk over it. And stress can be a killer that can lead to cancer. Instead, when you are feeling overwhelmed, take some deep, slow breaths, walk in nature, meditate, write in a journal, or do something creative that will help you nourish yourself, detox, de-stress, and feel vibrant every day!

Stay informed !!!

Article Summary

Currently, only about 4% of all cancer diagnoses in the United States are of young people. However that number is set to rise drastically in the coming years if nothing changes.

It’s no surprise that rates for diseases such as breast, thyroid, and colon cancer are on the rise in young people. Like the population at large, lifestyle, eating habits, and environmental toxins are the common cancer culprits when it comes to young people.

Young adults are the least insured and doctors may not take signs and symptoms seriously. As a result, many easily-reversible pre-cancerous conditions may go unnoticed until it’s too late.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Do juvenile courts discourage delinquency?

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By Dr. James Dobson

The New The New Dare to Discipline[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]Question: What is your opinion of the juvenile courts? Do they reward good behavior and extinguish bad? Are they efficient in discouraging delinquency?

Answer: Not generally, but the blame is difficult to locate. I served for three years on President Ronald Reagan’s National Advisory Commission to the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. It was a fascinating, although occasionally discouraging assignment. I observed that the courts build delinquents in some cases as systematically as if they were placing stone on stone.

This happened with a ninth grader I knew who had broken every rule he could violate, just to demonstrate the toothlessness of the law. Craig would brag to his friends before committing an illegal act, and then laugh when he was not punished. In a matter of two years’ time, he had stolen two cars and one motorcycle, had run away from home twice, was suspended from school three times, and was arrested once as a peeping Tom. I watched him march off to court repeatedly where he was released after receiving another worn-out lecture from the judge.

Finally, Craig was sent to a camp for delinquent boys where he wrote me a letter saying how he regretted the mess he’d made of his life. He was anxious to get home and take advantage of his educational opportunity. I think Craig wanted to know how far he could push “John Law.” As soon as he got the answer, he no longer wanted to fight. He should have been punished the first time he was arrested.

Shortly after hearing from Craig, I talked to a well-known judge about the obvious leniency of the courts. I asked him why juvenile authorities are so reluctant to take action against a defiant teenager, even though he may be begging for punishment. The judge cited two reasons for the attitudes of his colleagues:

(1) There aren’t enough correctional facilities available for boys like Craig. The work camps must be reserved for the greatest troublemakers.

(2) It is difficult for judges to get excited about milder forms of delinquency when they have been dealing with more serious cases involving murder, rape, and robbery. It is unfortunate that the judges are limited in this fashion. A teenager’s first encounter with the law should be so painful that he would not want to make the same mistake again, but our legal apparatus is not designed to accomplish that objective.

The juvenile courts occasionally commit the opposite error of dealing too harshly with a teenager. Such had been the case with Linda, a girl I met late one rainy afternoon. I was working on a report at my desk when I suddenly realized I was not

alone. I looked up to see a barefoot, rain-soaked girl in my doorway. She was a pretty adolescent of about fifteen years.

“You can call the police now,” she instructed me.

“Why would I want to call the police?” I asked.

“Because I have run away from ———.” (She named a nearby detention home for delinquent girls.) She said she’d spent the day hiding from the authorities.

She told me her name was Linda, and I asked her to sit down and tell me why she had run away. She started at the beginning, and I later verified the facts to be true. Her mother had been a prostitute who gave no supervision or guidance to her daughter. Linda was even allowed to remain in the bedroom while her mother entertained men. The child was eventually taken away from her mother and made a ward of the court. She was placed in a home for young victims where there was not enough love to go around. Her mother came to see her for a few years, but then ignored her completely.

Linda was so starved for love that she ran away to find her mother. She was immediately returned to the home. A year later she tried to escape again, with the same result. Linda continued to run away, each time becoming more sophisticated in evading the police. The year before my introduction to this girl, she had vanished again, this time being picked up by several boys. They lived together for two weeks and were involved in several misdemeanors and various sexual escapades during that period.

Linda was subsequently arrested and brought before the juvenile court as a delinquent. She was sentenced to the detention center for delinquent girls, surrounded by ten-foot chain link fences. The court considered her to be an unmanageable, incorrigible adolescent, yet this was wrong. Linda was a lonely, love-starved girl who had been cheated by the circumstances of life. She needed someone to care—not someone to punish. Perhaps the judge was too busy to study her background; perhaps he had no alternative facility for Linda. Either way, the needs of this wispy girl remained unmet at this critical time of her life.

Juvenile justice must be designed to be lenient with the child who has been hurt, like Linda, and to sting the child who has challenged authority, like Craig. It is sometimes difficult to recognize the difference.[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][dt_default_button link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dobsonlibrary.com%2Fresource%2Farticle%2F19b0f619-a013-4016-a332-7410bf18d600||target:%20_blank|” size=”big”]DOBSONLIBRAY.COM[/dt_default_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]

What’s most important, quality of time or quantity of time?

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By Dr. James Dobson

Straight Talk To Men
[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][vc_column_text]Question: My wife and I are extremely busy during this period of our lives. My job takes me on the road several days a week, and my wife has become very successful as a real estate agent. Quite honestly, we are not able to spend much time with our three children, but we give them our undivided attention when we are together. My wife and I wish we had more family time, but we take comfort in knowing that it’s not the quantity of time between parents and child that really matters; it’s the quality of time that makes the difference. Would you agree with that statement?

Answer: Permit me to respond to your question by a back-door approach which may seem irrelevant, at first. As a person who earns part of his living by use of the King’s English, I often find myself examining the validity of folk wisdom and cliches which have been accepted prima facie within our culture. While discussing the legal ramifications of pornography with a friend, for example, he confidently uttered that familiar phrase, “Well, you can’t legislate morality, you know.” I nodded in agreement, but later asked myself, “Why not?”

It is immoral to kill, rape, slander, defraud, and plunder, yet we have managed to legislate against these behaviors, haven’t we? Is not all criminal law based on the prohibition of certain inherently evil acts? Indeed, we would be in a mess if our lawmakers truly believed, “You can’t legislate morality, you know.”

Returning to the question of quantity versus quality in parent child relationships, we confront yet another widely quoted cliche that is equally porous. Without intending disrespect for the father who asked the above question, this phrase is bandied about by overcommitted and harassed parents who feel guilty about the lack of time they spend with their children. Their boys and girls are parked at child care centers during the day and with baby sitters at night, leaving little time for traditional parenting activities. And to handle the discomfort of neglecting their children, Mom and Dad cling to a catch-phrase that makes it seem so healthy and proper: “Well, you know, it’s not he quantity of time that matters, it’s the quality of you togetherness that counts.”

There is a grain of truth in most popular notions, and this one is no exception. We can all agree that there is no benefit in being with our children seven days a week if we are angry, oppressive, unnurturing and capricious with them. But from that point forward, the quantity versus quality issue runs aground. Simply stated, that dichotomy will not be tolerated in any other area of our lives; why do we apply it only to children? Let me illustrate.

Let’s suppose you are very hungry, having eaten nothing all day. You select the best restaurant in your city and ask the waiter for the finest steak on his menu. He replies that the filet mignon is the house favorite, and you order it charcoal-broiled, medium rare. The waiter returns twenty minutes later with the fare and sets it before you. There in the center of a large plate is a lonely piece of meat, one inch square, flanked by a single bit of potato.

You complain vigorously to the waiter. “Is this what you call a steak dinner?”

He then replies, “Sir, how can you criticize us before you taste that meat? I have brought you one square inch of the finest steak money can buy. It is cooked to perfection, salted with care, and served while hot. In fact, I doubt if you could get a better piece of meat anywhere in the city. I’ll admit that the serving is small, but after all, sir, everyone knows that it isn’t the quantity that matters; it’s the quality that counts in steak dinner.”

“Nonsense!” you reply, and I certainly agree. You see, the subtlety of this simple phrase is that it pits two necessary virtues in opposition to one another and invites us to choose between them. If quantity and quality are worthwhile ingredients in family relationships, then why not give our kids both? It is insufficient to toss our “hungry” children an occasional bit of steak, even it if is prime, corn-fed filet mignon.

My concern is that the quantity versus quality cliche has become, perhaps, a rationalization for giving our kids neither!

[/vc_column_text][ultimate_spacer height=”20″][dt_default_button link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dobsonlibrary.com%2Fresource%2Farticle%2F13f0bb8f-f202-4370-be10-b558e7d90c0b||target:%20_blank|” size=”big”]DRJAMESDOBSON.ORG[/dt_default_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]