We all get caught up in worrying over things in which we have little control. Anxiety defined is, “intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear over everyday situations.” As a child grows, anxiety becomes a normal response in stressful situations such as taking a test, dealing with a bully or being accepted by their peers, etc.. Anxiety then becomes an indicator of underlying issues where feelings become excessive, all-consuming and interferes with their daily living. Signs of anxiety may show up as physical or behavioral changes and usually are brought on by stress.
We must learn as parents to recognize the signs of childhood stress and look for the causes. This means we need to engage our children daily to help them manage their stress. If you see them having difficulty concentrating, showing changes in their behavior, withdrawing from family, or developing nervous habits, it is a good indication that they are stressed out and becoming anxious. Major life changes such as divorce, death in the family, moving, or even the birth of a new sibling can many times bring on great anxiety for your child. These events may rock their world and shake their sense of security. Here are a few first step suggestions at helping your child to cope:
1- LISTEN AND WATCH THEM CAREFULLY
Take the time to carefully and intentionally observe their behavior
2- PRAY FOR DIRECTION
Ask God to show you the best way to help your child as soon as the symptoms arise
3- PROVIDE THEM WITH SOME “DOWNTIME” REGULARLY
Don’t just give them “time-outs” but encourage them to write down their feelings on paper
4- MAKE YOUR HOME A CALM, SAFE AND SECURE PLACE
Commit to a routine of technology-free family dinners or game nights to “disengage” their young minds from their stressors
5- MONITOR THEIR TELEVISION SHOWS, VIDEO GAMES AND READING MATERIALS
It’s a good idea to not just restrict certain content but the time spent on each
6- KEEP YOUR CHILD INVOLVED IN THE DIRECTION YOU ARE TAKING AS A FAMILY
Give them a “heads-up” on any anticipated changes or expectations and walk them through any new scenarios
7- GET YOUR CHILD INVOLVED IN SOCIAL AND SPORTS ACTIVITIES
Help them find activities that fits them and gives them the greatest chance of success
8- ALLOW FOR OPPORTUNITIES WHERE YOUR CHILD CAN HAVE A DEGREE OF CONTROL OVER A SITUATION
This can empower them and is an opportunity to learn constructive decision making
9- PROVIDE YOUR CHILD WITH HUGE AMOUNTS OF AFFECTION AND ENCOURAGEMENT
Repeat, repeat, repeat !!!!!
10- LEARN TO TRULY LISTEN TO THEM WITHOUT BEING CRITICAL OR SOLVING PROBLEMS FOR THEM
Listen, offer suggestions and lead them to the answer and let them make it theirs
My last but maybe most important suggestion is to regularly direct them in their spiritual growth. Help them to understand that it’s okay to have concern over their life circumstances BUT that worrying is not only dangerous to their overall health but will provide them with no concrete solutions. The difference between concern and anxiety is that concern ACTS with reason, empathy and faith, where anxiety REACTS with fear, doubt and discouragement.
The key ingredient here is HOPE! Never allow your child to sink into a hopeless mindset that may encourage self-destructive behavior. Far too many children are lost every day due to hopelessness. Help them learn how to battle anxiety in the battlefield of their mind. Speak faith, HOPE, and love into them daily! Teach them the promises that God has made to them regarding anxiety and fear.
My favorite bible verse in learning how to battle anxiety comes from Philippians 4:6-7. “DO NOT be anxious about anything but in EVERY situation, by prayer and petition, WITH thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
Speak this verse to them OFTEN! Let it become a reality to both YOU and YOUR CHILD! This may become a perfect opportunity to ENGAGE your child in a “mini” bible study without overwhelming them. I also suggest that you define the dynamics (as simply as possible) and then engage them in a short time of questions and answers. Remember that to “engage” someone is to speak AND listen. Pay close attention to the phrases “by prayer and petition”, “present your requests”, and “guard your hearts” and learn the meaning of them clearly so as to effectively communicate them to your child. Try to also help them understand what it means to do it “with thanksgiving.”
God loves a thankful heart! (Don’t we all?) This will empower them with tools in their “quiver” to battle the enemy of their hearts and minds with the sharpest, most powerful weapon IN THE WORLD, God’s word!!! Be blessed. YOU CAN DO IT !!!
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