By Rex A Lones
Healing from the wounds of a broken relationship must be of the highest priority because anger, resentment, and hurt often result in horrible arguments. The result is that your children can get lost in the process and not know WHO they can trust. When faced with a co-parenting situation, or living as a single parent, stressors are inevitable. Regardless of the reason for the separation, broken trust and damaged relationship bonds are casualties.
In order to move past the tension that often plagues the involved family members, safe, emotional, and mental boundaries are needed. The following tips will be helpful in resolving co-parenting conflicts:
- Always put your child’s needs first. Children are very vulnerable to the actions of adults and their needs must become the number one priority.
- Disagree privately. Do not involve children in adult conservation
- Communicate gracefully. Always give your partners feelings consideration
- Be respectful. In order to get respect, give some
- Zip the lip. Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing
- Free yourself from resentment. Resentment eats away at the container that holds it
- Yield to love. Make your love for your child your first priority
- Give thanks for quality time with your child. Showing gratefulness help to diffuse the resentment
- Expect challenges. Your life will be full of them so use them as ways to grow
- Honesty helps. Lies and deceit are counter-productive
- Watch your words. A gentle answer turns away wrath
- Initiate productive conversations with the other parent. Honest communication is the foundation of productive co-parenting
- Vent confidentially. Speak the truth privately and in the spirit of grace
- Join forces for the benefit of your child. Working together is truly in your child’s best interest
- Understand differing perspectives. This aids in making productive decisions
- Keep kindness a priority. Teach your child respect by modelling it to them
- Turn to God and wise counsel for support. We all benefit from loving counsel
- Listen attentively. Listening shows respect and a sense of cooperation
- Separate facts from feelings. Allowing feelings to rule over facts is counter-productive
- Meet halfway. you must never make it “all about you”
- Regroup when necessary. Taking a step back for a moment can help you gain a fresh perspective
- Nurture your children’s relationship with their other parent. You will be dealing with that person for a long time and parental alienation is destructive for a young child
- Quickly resolve conflict. Allowing an issue to “fester” only creates greater pain in the long run
- Be open and quick to forgive. What you sow is what you will reap. FORGIVE
- Participate joyfully. Keep a good spirit in all your communications
DO NOT hit your former spouse “below the belt”. Remember that your children want to love BOTH parents so swallow your pride, bury your grievances, and let go and move on. Your children need you now, more than ever so engage your ex as an ally and not an enemy. #discipleship
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