I picked up my kids one Friday for our “scheduled visitation time” and headed home. On the way home my oldest son asked me if we could go get some chicken gyros at our favorite Coney Island restaurant. I had already purchased groceries for the weekend and was a little strapped for cash but that look of longing on his face crushed me. “Of course we can son,” I replied as my mind started racing as to how I was going to get gas money for the next week. (Things get a little tight when you are trying to support two households) I have always been a “sucker” when it came to granting my children a request. From the moment I laid eyes on my sons “blue” little bodies, I WAS HOOKED!
The next morning I was awakened by my youngest son jumping up and down on my bed. “Daddy can we go play basketball at the church today?” I said, “Maybe later son because I have to go up to the gym and install a new yogurt machine.” He latched onto me with those poor pitiful eyes of his and said, “But daddy, I really wanted to go early.” He threw his arms around me and clung to me until my heart couldn’t take it any longer. His next words pierced my soul as he said, “Daddy, I NEED to play with you today, WORK CAN WAIT a while!”
At that point it felt as if a forty ton truck just drove across my heart. Someone please tell me how you say NO to a child who says they need you? I will never understand how any parent could just walk away from such a precious blessing… At that moment my oldest came in, as my emotional savior, Alf doll in hand, (remember those?) and demanded that we wrestle. Well, needless to say I got “whooped” that day! (I was no match for Alf and the boys)
Regardless of what pop-culture may tell you, kids do better when there is an active father in their life. That statement does not minimize the importance of mothers. The SAME is true of them. There is a timeless truth in God’s design for families everywhere. God created children to need their fathers and fathers to need their children. When it comes to love relationships, there is a powerful sense of duty involved.
Some may want to point out that “duty” is an ugly four letter word that expresses something we do out of obligation and not love. They are so wrong! The duties of a father should flow out of a God inspired love that compels action. Love, just like faith, without action is dead! True love will always do things that seek to protect and benefit it’s recipient.
I deeply love my boys so the day I described above, not unlike many others, was an opportunity to teach them a life lesson. That lesson was that they are an important priority in my life and I will never abandon nor forsake those that I love.
Websters dictionary defines duty this way; something owed to another person bound by any legal, natural, or moral obligation to do, pay, or perform. As fathers we are stewards of our children, given to us by God to train up and teach to honor Him. We are obligated within that God given role to love, care for, protect, and provide for their needs. Our “duties” as a dad are NOT optional! God Himself will hold us accountable one day for how we performed those “duties.”
It is interesting to note that the word duty is most times accompanied by the word “honor” which is defined as high respect or esteem. If our character as a dad is honorable, we will fulfill our duties. It is a principle that drives to the very core of who we are. We must adhere to a code of conduct that reflects our responsibilities as a father. To do less is “dishonorable.” The bottom line is that we must choose to place our children’s best interests above our own because we love and respect them. Yes I said we should respect our children! (that’s for another blog) To do any less is to dishonor ourselves and fail in one of the most important tasks known to mankind.
Our God is a God of honor. He expects His sons to be “sons of honor” and our calling orders are to love and care for our families. The Prophet Micah SPEAKS to our duty to God in Micah 6:8 in these terms:
“He has told you, O man, what is good, and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God.”
These duties may not always be easy to practice but if our character is reflective of these principles, we can have great success as a dad.
It is time for men to step up to their calling and pursue their God defined duties as husbands and fathers. We may never get it “perfectly right” but if we honor Gods calling and trust Him to help us each and every step of the way, “WE WILL BE GREAT HUSBANDS AND FATHERS!”
After all, A dads got to do what a dads got to do!
Kidkrazydad.org 